


Dreadful Silence

by sabine_leo



Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2019-11-04 11:11:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 29,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17897339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabine_leo/pseuds/sabine_leo
Summary: After an illness your brain experienced a trauma which caused it to lose the ability to speak out loud what you want to say. To get back on your feet after months in the hospital and secluding yourself from the world takes a big amount of courage and strength. Gladly there are helping hands… those of your friends…and handsome strangersTrigger warning: Ilness, speechlessness, Aphasia





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea was in my head for a while. I needed to get it onto paper. Please let me know what you think about it and if you like me to continiue to explore it.

**Part 1**

This was hard for you. Why did you agree to this? You weren’t ready, not nearly.

Maybe you could just hide out in the storage room and be helpful assorting the shelves.

Your best friend Julia had meant no harm, but after your illness and the by product that you lost most of your speech you were living some what secluded.

It had taken you time to get on your feet again after the encephalitis had knocked you down and flipped your life in a direction you never had guessed. Waking up in a hospital after you dropped like a stone on a night out in front of your friends you couldn´t articulate. Only murmurs and gasps had left your mouth. The panic attack that had followed required the doctors to slightly sedate you again. Weeks of treatments and therapy had followed.

 

Learning sign language hat been part of the therapy. You could formulate some words, but were very, very slow and it disturbed you so much that you stopped trying in front of other people.

The looks on most peoples faces hurt you so much that you didn´t want to interact with anybody then your close friends any longer. 5 months had passed that way and your friends had enough of it.

 

Julia owned a little store in the city and couldn´t afford a full time help if she wanted to make at least a bit money out of it. She sold flowers, little trinkets and artwork she made herself. Julia was very talented and until somebody noticed that she had to make do with this little shop of hers. She was in desperate need of some help and you wanted to help her, but felt overwhelmed after 7 months of being in a hospital and mostly by yourself.

 

“Mondays are slow, don´t worry this will be fine…and we need to get you out of your flat for a while. It´s time to live again.” She smiled at you and opened up her shop.

“You could start helping me to get the flowers out, maybe do one of your sweet arrangements for the window?!” You nodded, that would be ok.

“I..i iiii” you started “….no..” it really stressed you out being that slow. You knew exactly what you wanted to say but just couldn´t get the words out! “….people..”

You sighed and signed the sentence you wanted to say again:

 

_I don´t want to interact with people, I´ll will help you out as good as I can but please don´t make me talk in front of others._

Julia hugged you once “I won´t, but you need to be amongst people again, let us help you (Y/N) we can´t take your seclusion any longer. It hurts us too you know…”

Julia always was the honest one, she said what she was thinking and gave it to you straight if she thought you were in need of it. Before the illness you had been a fun-loving, outgoing person who loved to go to the movies or theatres or just enjoyed a night out with friends. Hell, you even acted in a little play yourself once. You hadn´t had trouble being alone and read a good book, but you loved to be around your friends. That had changed so much so, that you knew that Julia was right. You were hurting the people who had been there for you, who´d learned to sign too, just to help you study it. A big lump formed in your throat and your ears teared up.

 

_I´m sorry I hurt you, I lost the ground under my feet_

 

“You don´t have to apologize, just try to get back to us. We don´t need you to speak…But your spirit is missing, we want you back sweetheart!” Julia kissed your cheek and smiled teary herself.

“Now let´s get to work after this little heart to heart.” Laughing breathless you nodded and rubbed your eyes dry. You owed it to them to try harder…you owed it to your self to get back on your feet.

The Doctors said that with training and time you would get your speech back. The part of your brain wasn´t damaged for good, it just had some kind of trauma thanks to that bacteria, but it would take constant training and another couple of months’ time to get it up and running again.

 

If you hadn´t been that frustrated with yourself you probably would be further along the road to recovery. Shit, you really had let yourself down on that. This had to change.

 

You just prayed that you´d find the courage to get up again.

 2 weeks after your heart to heart with Julia you had found pleasure in helping her in her shop. She was so talented, when you had done all things required you just watched in awe when she created her art in her little workshop in the back. At the moment she was giving an old lamp a new shade out of sea glass and mosaic-stones.

 Hearing the shop door open she pleaded you with her eyes to go take a look because she couldn´t stop her work right now. You nodded and took the next step on your long staircase of recovery.

A man was standing inside the shop and looking around with fascination. He saw you and turned to you. His face was fairly familiar somehow but you couldn´t put a name to it. His smile was handsome and charming. “Hello, I am in need of some flowers for my mother’s birthday. I saw the arrangement in the window. Please tell me it is for sale, it looks stunning.” You smiled and nodded. Going over to the window to get the flowers out he followed you with his gaze.

 “Could you make another one like this just with tulips and marguerites?”

 Again, you nod and the man looked at you with interest. Julia came through the door and stopped dead in her tracks. “Tom Hiddleston, oh god!” Tom laughed softly and greeted Julia. You just stared at him for a moment. NOW you could put a name to him. You saw him in a play last summer and were fascinated by his talent to make you feel SO many feelings at once and totally engage with what was happening on stage.

 Julia shook out of her dazed state and said.

“I see (Y/N) already got the flowers for you, are you in need of something else?” Tom smiled and came over to the workplace where you started do arranges the Tulips and the Marguerites for him. “No, I asked …(Y/N) … to do another one of those beautiful arrangements already. Your shop is quite stunning.” He looked around again.

 

In that moment Julia came to you and said softly “If you need my help I´ll be there, but please….try!”

Out of all people she wanted you to start with HIM?  You started to sign.

 

_You can´t be serious…I can´t do that on my own_

 

Julia grinned and shrugged her shoulders. “Jump in on the deep and Girl!”

“Mr. Hiddleston…” she started.

“Just Tom…” he smiled and had seen you sign out of the corner of his eyes.

“…Tom… I need to go back to my project in the workshop, (Y/N) will finish your request and help you with everything else you need. Thank you for choosing my little shop.”

“My pleasure, you have great art in here.”  
Julia went back to the workshop, even though she should drop dead any minute by the daggers you had thrown at her with your glare.

 

Tom leaned a little on the counter you were working on.

“My mother will love the flowers, you saved me from running around town in search of a present.” You laughed a little and looked up into his eyes. They were as blue as the forget-me-nots you had put in between the white tulips and marguerites. He didn´t ask for them but it would give the arrangement a special touch.

“I´m sorry to say that I can´t sign more than… _Thank you_ …” He signed the Thank you while he spoke.

This was taking all your courage but you needed to be brave to get over the last months.

 

Slowly you started to sign and tried to explain what you meant with other signs. Oh my, that was confusing yourself. Would he get it?

  _I_ “I…so you” Tom translated for himself

_hear_ “hear?” you nodded

_you_                        “You …I mean me.” He grinned.

_just fine._ “fine?... You hear me fine?” You nodded and he laughed as if he had won a price.

 

“Splendid, so I need to get a hang of this… or you could write down what you want to say to me and we should be good.” He winked at you.

A laugh escaped you and you truly smiled for the first time in weeks.

 

Tom watched you smile and thought that you looked striking. So sweet and lovely that he would like to see you smile more often. He was on a schedule today, but this shop would definitely see him again. And he hoped that you were in it when it happened.

 

Finishing up his order and putting the money in the cashier you smiled at him and signed  _Thank you_

Tom grinned and said “Oh, I have to thank you. I hope to see you again soon!” He left and waved at you through the window.

 

Julia came out the next second hugging you with a squeal “You did it!!!”

You nudged her shoulder and glared at her but grinned the next second.

“You loved him on stage last summer, and it seems like he took an interest in you too just now.”

 

_Don´t be silly, he wanted the flowers_

 

Julia laughed and shook her head. “I don´t know sweetie, looked different to me”

 

_He was nice, I give you that…thanks for making me do it_

Julia hugged you again and smiled

“No thanks needed, I´m the one who gets her friend back little by little!”

 

After another week you and Julia came to a silent understanding. You helped her in her shop 3 days a week and went to therapy again. She had given you the kick in your behind you needed to give it another try. It was exhausting and frustrating but you promised to do better this time around.

The next Friday you went to a nearby coffeeshop to get something for Julia and yourself.  It was a goal you had set yourself and tried to see it through. You had written down your order prior to hand it to the barista when you got asked what you wanted. It went better then you thought and soon you were on your way back to the shop. Just in time to see Tom opening the door to go in.

 

At first you wanted to stop and wait till he was done, but then Julia´s coffee would probably be cold.

You mustered another surge of courage and went in. Tom turned from his conversation with Julia and a big smile appeared on his face as he recognized you.

You waved at him as he greeted you remembering your name. Julia took the coffee and the cake she had asked for and brought it to her workshop.

 

“I don´t need flowers today, I wanted to buy this lamp for my sister…” You nodded and wanted to get it for him but he stopped you. “…and…” he ruffled his hair. “I wanted to ask you if you would like to grab a coffee with me, but you have one already.” He smiled sheepish as Julia came back and took your beaker and said “This was for me too, go ahead and treat her to that coffee, I wanted to close for lunchbreak anyways.”

 

You stared at your friend, but Tom wanted your attention again. “That means if you are willing...” he smiled such a handsome smile that you nodded without thinking about it again.

“Great, let´s go then.” He offered you his arm and grinned. You took it hesitantly but started to walk.

He walked into the park with you and said “The mobile Coffeeshop here has great coffee or cocoa.”

 

Finding a spot on the grass he sat opposite of you and smiled.

“Try me, I tried to learn the sign language the last 2 weeks. Tell me what you want to drink.”

You shook your head in astonishment and started to sign slowly.

 

_Cocoa with cream on top_

 

“Cola with cream on top? No that can´t be right!” he laughed and you signed again with a smile on your face. “Ahhh cocoa with cream on top, that makes more sense!”

You nodded and laughed a little. That was one of the successes the last weeks. Laughing sounded normal and was easy for you. “Just a second…don´t run away!” he jumped up and went to order the beverages. You took the time to look at him. He was handsome, tall, lean and his smile was a smile that reached his eyes and pulled you in. With his hands in his pockets he waited for his order and looked at you with said smile.

 

The park was not as busy as usual at lunchtime. The grass was warm and soft and the sun was out. London could be so beautiful in the summer. Sitting back down he handed you your drink and sat his down for a moment. “I´m glad you came…I was asking myself how I could possibly see you again without buying flowers for all the women in my family.” That made you laugh and he looked at you with interest. “May I ask why you can laugh with sound but don´t speak? I hope it´s not rude of me to be so forward.” You held up a hand in motion for him to wait a second.

 

Inside your little bag you had a tablet. Taking it out you started to write on it.

 

_It´s ok for you to ask, you seem honestly interested not just curious what disability I might have. Actually it´s no disability at all, I had an illness. The bacteria caused a trauma to the side of my brain which is responsible for the speech. I can talk, just very, very slow..so I learned to sign instead. In time and with lots of training I hopefully will get my voice back._

 

Tom read it as you typed and said “So, I hope I get it right. You have no problem whatsoever to form the words in your head just a blockade to get them out caused by the trauma?!”

 

You nodded and wrote: _It is called Aphasia_

 

Tom looked at you and smiled a little.

“Your laugh sounds lovely, I can only imagine what it had cost you to lose your voice. You are a very strong woman to be sitting here with me and telling me this after just meeting me once”

 

You snorted a little: _I´m not as strong as you think, I needed a kick in the behind from Julia after secluding myself the last months._

 

Tom grinned after reading this.

“Sometimes we need friends who do that, challenge us to new heights, new experiences, new trials.”

 

Taking a moment to drink you actually relaxed around Tom. He was sweet and polite and wasn´t looking at you as a lot of other people did, but then again…you hadn´t tried to talk in front of him yet.

Tom leaned back on his elbows in the grass. He was a handsome man. His jawline cutting and with a sight stubble that made it even more sexy. But his eyes were the ones that pulled you in mostly.

Those blue orbs that seemed to have a way to look into someone’s soul with a single glance.

 

“So (Y/N), what experience would you like to set out to do after getting said kick?” Tom asked with a hint of a smile on his face. You had to think about that for a moment and wrote:

 

_Before all this I loved to do lots of things, but now…I´m just starting to be a part of the world again. I can´t name you one specifically...Or maybe I can: Grabbing a coffee with a stranger in the park!_

Tom laughed at that. “eheheh.. Sorry, where are my manners…” He sat up straight and held out his hand. “…May I introduce myself properly. My name is Thomas William Hiddleston but Tom would suffice. I´m very honoured to be in your lovely presence and enjoy this beautiful day with you.”

You took his hand and smiled at his chivalrousness. You didn´t know why but his gaze and that silly but lovely gesture just now made you do it.

 

“…..I….(Y/N)…” 

 

Tom looked astound but then smiled a very big and very honest smile.

 

“Your voice is lovely (Y/N) thank you for letting me get a glimpse of it!”

He kissed the back of your hand and held on to it for a moment, seeing the overwhelmed look on your face after you realised what you´d done and how he reacted. His reaction was so honest and open, so interested and not even the slightest irritated or commiserating that you could only start to smile back at him. Tom squeezed your hand slightly and let go of it.  He took your tablet and wrote a number down in the contact section.

 

“I´d love to be the one to accompany you on another challenging experience or just spent more time in your presence…It´s in your hands…you have my number now.” He leaned back again.

“But remember, I know where you work now!” He winked and made you laugh out loud.


	2. Part 2

The afternoon in the Park had been wonderful and easy-going. It wasn´t hard to let Tom talk and you wrote your answers on the tablet. He made it easy and natural. But it had taken you 2 days staring at his number before you had the strength and could muster the bravery to write him.

Tom on the other hand had replied within half an hour.

 

Texting with him was fun. Laughing about the jokes he sent and the way he replied to your texts made you smile. He was not unlike the humans you called friends, no wonder you got along with him so well. A week after your coffee-break in the park you were in Julia´s shop making a new flower piece to put in the window as Tom came in.

“Hello (Y/N), brought you Cola with cream on top!” He winked and laughed about his first error trying to understand sign language in the park last week.

 

You laughed with him and signed _Thank you Tom_

“Don´t thank me yet, it´s not entirely unselfish of me to bring you hot chocolate with cream.., I need to ask a favour!” You quizzingly tilted your head a little and looked into his soft blue eyes.

“I might have accidently bought one ticket to much for the premier of that Film we texted about yesterday...You don´t actually happen to know someone who would like to accompany me?!”

 

Your eyes got huge and then you grinned at him and shrugged shaking your head.

“No?!” Tom asked smiling just a little. “That´s to bad, then I´ll leave this ticket here for you to sell in the shop. Who knows who will pop in and be glad about that opportunity.” He knocked on the worktop and waved his goodbyes. Before the door closed behind him, he stopped short and said

“Film starts at 8.30….don´t be late!”  

 

Laughing you looked at the ticket and shook your head. This man was trouble!

Julia hat watched that scene from her workshop and yelled “Don´t even think of not going! Dress up and enjoy!” You rolled your eyes and finished the flower piece.

 

At 8 o clock you walked into the cinema in tight jeans and a nice shirt with your ticket in hand. Last row, double seat, centre…You looked up to find were you needed to go to see Tom grinning and waving at you. “You came, I was a bit unsure!” He hugged you friendly and waited for you to sit on the double chair. Popcorn and drinks already were in front of you. He was prepared it seemed.

_Thank you for the ticket…you shouldn´t have! You_ signed slowly

 

Tom was concentrating and showed you he got it as he said

“Oh but I wanted too, and I am very glad you came!” Wow, he was getting good at reading sign language. “I hope you like Popcorn!” He sat down next to you and smiled. “But as much as I love it you might not get any!” He grinned and laughed out loud as you stole the popcorn out of his hands. “Ok.. ok, I´m willing to share. But only because it´s you!” Leaning back in the seat you got comfortable. Cinema was easy, 2 hours of just focusing on the screen not having to talk. Tom had chosen wisely.

 

As the film started the both of you leaned back and relaxed. Sharing the popcorn and sitting next to each other on that seat without an armrest between you. Your bodies touching from shoulder to legs. Sometimes Tom looked at you and smiled as you returned his gaze. On other times you both grabbed for popcorn at the same time and Tom tried to wrestle your hand away in mock exasperation of having to share, but in the end, he always let you take some first.   

The film was fun and short-lived, as it ended Tom smiled at you and stretched a little before getting up. “I think it was a rather good film, you?!” You nodded and smiled at him giving a thumbs up. Tom got rid of the empty popcorn basket and drinks and led you outside with a hand on your back.

“May I walk you home (Y/N) ?”

 

 _You don´t have to, but I´d like that_   You smiled at him and he nodded in understanding.

“I´m getting the hang of this” He grinned proudly and put his arm around your shoulders in a friendly manner. The walk home was mostly silent but comfortable besides one or two remarks about the film from Tom and you nodding in agreement. At your flat Tom let go of you and smiled as he said good night, kissing your cheek. “I had a wonderful evening, thank you (Y/N)”

 

_Me too, thank you for not pressuring me in the shop_

 

“Thank you for not crushing you?” Tom seemed lost for a moment before he began to laugh. “PRESSURE….oh dear, but I would never crush you either!” He winked and gave you another kiss on the cheek. “Sleep well darling!” He waited for you to get inside, leaving you with a smile and a hand on the cheek he had kissed as the door closed behind you.

 

The next 3 weeks passed by with Tom now and then popping into the shop and the both of you texting each other or having lunchbreak together in the park. The therapy went as well as it could, in just 3 weeks’ time there would not be a miracle or sudden tremendous improvement of your speech. You had to work hard and it cost you lots and lots of energy to stay focused to get the words out right. Your therapist urged you to speak out loud more often, but you didn´t know if you could do that so easily. The fear of getting laughed at, getting mocked and belittled in public was still there, your experiences had branded you.

 

You had learned the hard way, that not everybody was as empathic and understanding as your friends and Tom. The angst you carried with you was overshadowing your normally rational mind.

 

A knock on your door startled you a little. You just had gotten back home yourself…

Opening the door you smiled instantly as you saw Tom in front of you holding up 2 Pizza boxes and smiling at you.

  
“Thought you might be hungry after therapy…you were ranting about Italian food the whole day in our texts…” He grinned as you laughed and opened the door for him to come in. You led Tom into your livingroom and signed

 

_I was about to watch a movie and relax. Want to join me and help me demolish that pizza?_

Tom laughed softly “Darling, you didn´t think you could throw me out and keep the pizza for yourself?! I´m afraid we are a package deal... and I´m rather famished myself.”

He sat down the pizza on the little table and concentrated as you signed.

_You select a movie and I´ll get something to drink. Get comfortable but don´t start eating without me!_

“Better hurry then darling!” He sat down on a soft cushion on the floor instead of the couch and zapped through available films on the streaming platform you used to watch. Smiling you went into the kitchen and got 2 glasses of wine and a bottle of water before you returned to him. Sitting down next to him after placing the drinks on the table you glanced over to Tom. His jeans were well worn and the shirt he wore fitted him like a second skin. The stubble on his jaw was sexy you thought. His shoes were gone and he had stretched out his long legs.

 

“I think I found something!” He declared, hit start and opened up the pizza boxes. Your tummy gave a hungry growl as you smelled the pizza. Tom laughed and leaned over to kiss your cheek.

“Thank you for letting me in unannounced!”

 

_You had Pizza, what was I supposed to do?_

Tom looked mockingly hurt for a moment, but then he grinned and took a slice of pizza, leaning back again and pinned his attention on the film. As the pizza was gone Tom tucked you against him.

“You know I´m a Cuddle-watcher…” He just said and smiled. You knew him for some weeks now and weren´t the least taken aback by this. You genuinely liked him and found the way he was with you very charming and natural. It wasn´t the first time you touched or were close, after the cinema you quickly learned that he was a gentleman, but also a very big hugger.

 

Somewhere near the end of the film you found yourself with Toms head in your lap stroking through his hair absently. Tom closed his eyes for a moment and smiled content.

“…Be…Beautiful…”  You said quietly.

 

Tom opened his eyes and turned his head to look at you. “Yes, you are, and your voice is too!” he said and smiled a lovely smile just for you.

 

“..Y..You….n..no…t….” You, not me! You wanted to say, but it wouldn´t come out so easily. You wanted to lift your hand out of his hair and from your side to sign, but Tom stopped you.

“Don´t stop touching me…please…try again..”

Felling his gaze on you made you nervous. He was waiting for you to start talking again.

 

Sensing your hesitation, seeing that your face began to scrunch up and loose the relaxed state it was in as you said the first word while stroking him, he sat up and was real close.

“Don´t move, I´ve got an idea….trust me?”

 

You nodded and gulped a little. Tom grinned and gave you a kiss on the cheek as he lifted himself up and went to kill the lights. Finding his way back to you with the light of the TV he lay back down and killed the tv too. Now it was pitch black inside your livingroom and his head came to rest on your lap again. One of his big hands found yours and laid it on his chest, right above his heart. You could feel it beat steadily under your palm. Your other hand was guided into his hair again.

 

Humming in approval as you started to stroke him without thinking about it you laughed softly.

“I can´t see your lips move, or your hands.. take all the time you need, but please… talk to me again… I love your voice!” One of his hands came to rest above yours on his chest. Slowly your eyes adjusted a little to the darkness, but all you could see were shadows and his silhouette. It took a while before you relaxed enough again to give it another try.

 

“…Y..you…” You took a breath “…a..re… tr….trouble!”

Tom laughed and you could feel the vibrations of his rumble in your hand on his chest.

“Never said I wasn´t…but I try to be less troublesome if it is what you ask of me…”

“…No…” You stroked through his soft locks and tried to say a bit more. You had to clear your throat first. “…like…y…you…th.at…way!” It had taken you more then half a minute to get that out, but out it was. Tom took a deep breath and said “I am glad…because I want you to like me as I am… and I want you to feel comfortable around me.” There was no change in his voice, no sign he was taken aback by your voice, or the time you needed to get the words out. No, he sounded as if he was having a normal conversation with you and enjoyed to be near you whilst talking.

 

A minute of silence later… A minute of touching him, feeling his hand starting to stroke your arm you took all the courage you could find to say.

“T…Thank..you….for…ac…accepting me…Tom!” As his name left your lips his heart beat got faster, you could feel him hold his breath for a second. Toms hand let go of your arm but found your neck to tuck you down a little. His head lifted and a chaste kiss on your lips stole your breath away. Those soft lips just hovering a second before leaving you a little lightheaded and saying.

“Say my name again darling…”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and giving kudos!! I do hope you´ll follow this story further along :) 
> 
> You can also find me on TUMBLR 
> 
> sabine-leo.tumblr.com

Still feeling the wetness of his kiss, the burning sensation of his lips on yours you gave in to his request. “..Tom…” Tom sat up and smiled, you couldn´t see it but you could feel his hands as he held your head softly in them and kissed you again, longer this time.

“Oh darling, I like how you say my name.”

He laughed softly and stole a last kiss before he tucked you against him.

You couldn´t process what just had happened, you had talked and Tom had kissed you this was a weird dream. Tom got up and felt his way to the light switch. Warning you before he flipped it he smiled at you as your eyes had adjusted enough to see him without squeezing them shut because of the light. Tom came back to you and sat down in front of you.

 

“I want to do that anytime I like…everywhere I like…” he said quietly and touched your cheek with his fingertips, waving his hand into your hair. “May I ?!” He asked coming closer. You looked into his beautiful blue eyes and smiled a little on the shy side. You could almost believe that he genuinely liked you, was interested in you in a way lovers would be…But why you? He could have any girl he liked, one without a hitch in her brain, one were a normal conversation wouldn´t take hours on hours.

 

“(Y/N)…” Tom said softly. “…You are looking through me as if I am a ghost…” He grabbed the tablet and handed it to you. “Please…share your thoughts with me…”

Focusing you looked into his eyes again and took the tablet. How could you tell him what you thought without hurting his feelings? You started to write:

 

_I care for you a lot, and I like being with you…you make me feel like my normal self again, but I can´t possibly begin to understand why YOU would like to be with me…_

Tom read and tilted his head a little. “Love…” he started but you motioned him to wait and wrote more.

 

_I can´t talk to you as fast as I would like, I have problems going out in public because of it, I have months and month of therapy ahead of me…and who knows if I ever can talk properly again. I am a troubled person who might leash out or seclude again if feeling overwhelmed. This would not be easy on you…_

Tom shook his head. “Darling, listen to me…” He looked into your sad eyes. “I don´t care how long you need for a sentence…Or if I have to wait to read what you want to say…I don´t care about the baggage that is on your shoulders. I want to share it, take some of the weight as every honourable man should do for the woman he gets to love. I am genuinely in awe of your strength, your beautiful soul and your sharp mind. Not to mention that I find you distractingly attractive. Sometimes I lose my train of thought when I look at you.”

Your eyes filled with tears and your throat closed up a little.

“I would be proud to hold your hand outside of that door…” he pointed to your front-door.

“And if anybody only looks at you in a strange way I´d like to give them a piece of my mind. Maybe you can´t yell at me for now, but that time will come and I´ll gladly listen to your exasperated TOM when I´ve done something terribly stupid again…because believe me…I´m not perfect either!”

 

You let out a breathless laugh and a single tear escaped your eyes.

“So… I ask you again (Y/N)… May I?” His gaze was so soft, so honest and loving, you lost yourself in that handsome face for a second before you started to speak:

“..Y…Yes….Tom!” The smile that spread on his face was so pure and lovely that you had to smile too.

But then Tom leaned in and kissed you. “Feel that?” he asked with his lips on yours as he lifted your hand to feel his heartbeat. It was beating so fast that you didn´t need to concentrate to sense it.

“Please believe me now that I sincerely am in way over my head. You captured me right from the start…do keep me, yes?” You smiled and stroked his chest before you leaned in to give that man who had his heart on his tongue a kiss.

 

He truly meant what he had said…You knew it would break you in two when he decided he had enough but even though you would be devastated you wouldn´t, couldn´t keep him at a save distance any longer. So, you might as well enjoy the time you had…

 

 The next weekend came and you still couldn´t believe that Tom had given you his heart to care for it…and had taken yours in the process. Tonight, your friends had booked a table in a nice restaurant in the city and wanted to have a relaxed evening together. Julia and you were sure that Tom would fit in quite well and you had asked him to accompany you. After all he now was your boyfriend…even if that still sounded weird in your ears. Besides Julia no one knew that you would come.. or bring a plus 1 to the table.

 

Getting ready you applied a little makeup and dressed in tight jeans and a nice top. Casual but stylish. A knock sounded on the door and you smiled. Opening it you saw Tom standing n front of you with a single flower in his hand. “Good evening beautiful!” He said and came closer to steal a kiss.   
“Ready to shock your friends and enjoy a nice meal?”

You nodded and quickly brought the flower into a vase before you grabbed your purse and closed the door. Tom laid his arm around you and kissed your head as you started to walk to the tube station.

 

The ride with the tube was short and Tom laughed as you signed that you were excited to see the faces of your friends when the two of you would walk in. “Oh… me too darling!” He said. Tom was known for his theatre acting so far, the films he made up till now not as much in the public eye yet. After the walk to the restaurant Tom grinned at you one last time before he held open the door and winked. He followed with a little distance, already hearing the happy calls your 5 friends let out as they saw you. “(Y/N) it is so good to see you outside of your home again.” Sam got up and hugged you with a big smile on his face. Julia, grinning from ear to ear followed…as did Jack then Christine and lastly Paul hugged you.

 

Tom came as Paul let go of you and hugged you from behind. To the startled faces of your friends and Julias big grin he said. “Hello, I´m Tom…you´ll probably get to see me more often then not when you want to take my lady out in Town.” You laughed and Julia hugged Tom as he let go of you.

“Hey Tom, so nice to see you again!”

 

There was more than one baffled face before they laughed and greeted Tom like an old friend.

It didn´t take long for your friends to accept Tom into the fold. He made it easy on them and they clicked instantly. Talking about a lot of different topics including you and waiting for you to sign what you had to say the evening got off to a great start. It was so much fun, so normal and easy-going that your heart wanted to burst from the sheer joy of it.

 

Tom had his arm around you after dinner and stole a kiss now and then.

“You want something else to drink…?” The waitress asked and looked at you. Paul wanted to answer but you stopped him with a look. Tom smiled and looked at you. His presence, the fun night had made you brave.

 

“…s…sex…ooooon…the…be.beach..” You said and to the hoots of your friends Tom added

“Oh.. I´d like that too…but to drink I´d like an Ale please..” He kissed you with a grin still on his lips.

“I do like that guy!” Sam laughed and Tom and he high fived over the table.

 

You had missed this…your friends, the fun, the lightness of being yourself. Julia and Tom had taken you in the right direction to be whole again, now it was your turn to pay your friends trust back.


	4. Chapter 4

3 weeks went by with Tom having a lot to do. He had a new engagement for a stage production and it was one of your favourite “romantic comedies” of Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing. You were so proud that he got to play a leading role in it and listened to him learn the words of the script and giving it live in your Livingroom. He was so engaged in this play that he forgot to eat some of the days. Smiling as he tussled his unruly hair one evening you decided to cook something for the both of you and let him practice his role of Benedick. You knew the words of Beatrice from your heart. You had read the original and now the script several times.

 

“Darling?” Tom called and you peeked out of the kitchen in question.

“Could you do me a favour. I seem to get stuck on one sentence every time I try to pass this scene. I just need the first 2 words from Beatrice as a cue.” You walked over to him and he showed you the sentence. You nodded without even reading it. Tom smiled at you “You love that script don´t you?” Kissing him you nodded. Not telling him that Beatrice was the one role you had played in an amateur theatre before your illness had knocked you out. Tom knew you had acted in a play, but not which.

 

He began his dialogue and paced the Livingroom.

 

BENEDICK : “Is there any way to show such friendship?”

You signed the parts he did not need to hear because he new his cue.  

_BEATRICE_ _: A very even way, but no such friend._

BENEDICK: “May a man do it?”

_BEATRICE_ _: It is a man's office, but not yours._

BENEDICK : “I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is not that strange?”

_BEATRICE_ _: As strange as the thing I know not. It were as possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as you: but believe me not; and yet I lie not; I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing. I am sorry for my cousin._

BENEDICK : “By my sword, Beatrice, thou lovest me.”

Now he needed you to say something. You took a deep breath, the words already laying on your tongue. “..Do…n..not…swe..ar, and…e..ea…eat…it.” He had let you finish the sentence with patience and a smile toying with his lips. Tom came closer to you and took your hand in his.

“I will swear by it that you love me; and I will make him eat it that says I love not you.”

 

Tom grinned at you and gave you a kiss that stole your breath.

“Thank you darling…You were to dreadfully silent the last days. I know you did it for me, but I do like to hear your voice now and then…even if I am losing my mind whilst working.”

This man had tricked you into talking with your favourite play. “…Tri..ckster!” you accused him and smiled as you gave him a playful nudge. “I do need to play all the cards I got with you…” he winked and seduced you with a kiss to forgive him. After his lips left yours you smiled content with him and said “Dinner…”

“Now that you say it…I´m starving!”

 

This little game of his went on for the next 4 days, and every time he got you to interact with him. In the safe place of his or your home it was ok for you, you were relaxed enough around him to try and talk. When you got back from therapy Tom was already waiting for you that day. He had cooked for a change. “Hello love, I´ve got a little surprise for you!” He smiled as bright as the sun.

“You…coo..ked?!” He grinned and nodded. “Yes, I did indeed, but that is not the surprise!”

He tucked you inside and kissed you long and thoroughly.

 

“All this rehearsing is messing up my plan to seduce you completely and take you to my bed!” He breathed out between another kiss. You laughed quietly. The both of you were seeing each other for quite a while now, but you haven´t gotten to that stage of your relationship yet. Kissing, touching a hell of a lot of touching, but no sex till now. Tom stole a last longing kiss before he looked into your eyes and smiled. “Let´s eat and then I´ll tell you about the surprise….and darling…I don´t want any miscommunication between us about this.  I WANT YOU….badly!”

 

Heat surged through your body at his words and the look in his eyes. No, there was no mistaking that he was speaking the truth. Always honest this man, always with his heart on his tongue.   
“Tom…” you said near his lips…that was all he needed to hear to know you felt the same!

“Soon…” he gasped after another kiss and grinned before he tugged you into the kitchen.

 

After dinner you looked at him and signed :

_Had I known that you are such a good cook I would have bullied you to cook for me sooner!_

 

Tom laughed and touched your hand. “Now the surprise…we need to get going now..”

_What? Where?_

“I know how much you love the play… I do have my costume fitting in half an hour. I thought you might like to accompany me and after that I´ll show you the theatre and you could rehearse on stage with me? Only you and me.. nobody else will be there then…” Tom stood and held out his hand.

“What do you say love…?”

 

The smile that broke out on your face told him the answer. Watching him transform into Benedick would be fun to watch. Even when his character would not be loved by most in the beginning you loved the way he used his wit and his interaction with Beatrice from not liking each other to love. It was a complex thing to transform on stage but that was the beauty of the role. You HAD to be able to act various emotions to give it depth and live and from what you had seen Tom do till now, he was more than capable.

 

The walk to the theatre was short lived after getting of the tube. Tom took you to the stage door and soon you were in the heart of the old theatre. You looked around in awe and turned in a slow circle as you took in the stage and it´s surroundings. Tom smiled and took you down into the rooms behind the stage were the fitting would be. The other cast was already there and dressed in the first stages of what would become their wardrobe for the stage. Tom introduced you and hugged you from behind.

 

You waved hello with a little shy smile and smiled as the seamstress greeted you most warmly.

“Gorgeous smile you have dear.” Tom grinned. “Yes, she does… why don´t you sit on the sofa over there until I´m finished, then we can go on stage for a while…” You nodded and after a kiss you sat on an old Victorian looking sofa.

 

Tom changed into an era appropriate shirt and pants that needed to be tightened for him behind a curtain. As he came out you smiled. His posture had already changed. You gave him a thumbs up and signed.

 

_You look very handsome!_

 

Smiling at you he turned in a slow circle with a grin. The woman that would play Hero, the main character Claudio’s love interest, looked at you with a little eyeroll “Can´t she talk?” Without waiting for an answer, she turned to Tom “…Anyways, I think you would be a much better Claudio then a Benedick, Benedick is a gruesome human if you ask me. You and me as Claudio and Hero would be much better…” Biting your tongue you closed your eyes for a moment. The seamstress turned the actress to face a wall. “Still, Otherwise I will sew this dress into your skin, by error of course!”

 

Tom couldn´t believe it at first, but then said. “I don´t need to defend her, she can do that herself and just so you know, she does not talk to people who disregard her and speak to her as if she is not in the same room. And you should go back to read the script again, maybe then you would come to understand the complexity of Benedick…and no thank you. I don´t want to play Claudio.”

 

The actress who would play Beatrice grinned and winked to you. She made a by far nicer impression. “Would you like some water? I wanted to fetch some out of the little kitchen down the corridor.”

You nodded with a small smile. “Care to join me?” How did she pick up on it so fast that you were close to burst after that comment from this sod of a person? You got up and Tom came over with two big strides. Giving you a kiss, asking silently if you were ok. You touched his cheek and smiled before you turned. “I`m Andrea by the way, nice to meet you (Y/N)”

 

The both of you went outside and, in the corridor, Andrea said

“You can sign, I do have a little brother who is speechless. So, no worries, I bet he talks faster with his hands then you.” That made you laugh a startled laugh and smile at her. You signed.

 

_I am not speechless, I am learning to get my speech back, it´ll take time…but thank you for the way out of there…She is a handful it seems._

“You have no idea, I don´t think the director made the right choice, but we will see in rehearsals. She is not happy with Claudio, she thinks he is not handsome enough…” Andrea rolled her eyes.

“And just to put it out there, I am happily married, so no worries about me and your boyfriend!” She winked and added. “Don John is my husband!” You laughed louder this time and grinned. You started to like her.

 

Back in the dressing room with a bottle of water you sat back down again. Tom was standing with his arms outstretched and his stand widened. His clothes got marked out to fit him better. The woman who played Hero watching him. She scribbled a note on a paper and put it inside his discarded trousers. All for you to see. Tom didn´t notice as he was turned the other way.

 

Half an hour later Tom was done and dressed in his normal clothes again and took your hand.

“Come love, I´ll show you the stage…” You waved to Andrea who was packing her things to leave. Hero, you even didn´t want to know her name, dressed too. Tom squeezed your hand to get your attention. “They´ll leave now, the doorman will lock up after we leave.” He kissed your hand and tugged you along.

 

The wood of the stage gritted under your feet. It smelled so good, you couldn’t describe it if you tried. Tom let go of your hand and walked a bit further than you. He turned and looked at you.

“Here comes Beatrice. By this day! she's a fair lady: I do spy some marks of love in her.”

He stretched his hand out to you, smiling. Laughing you signed:

 

_Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner._

“Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains”

_I took no more pains for those thanks than you take_ _pains to thank me: if it had been painful, ……_

” I ….wo..would nnnnnot …..ha hav have…. come.” You ended talking the sentence.

Tom smiled at you proudly as you walked over to him.

 

“Well, that was….awful…” Hero clapped slowly as she came down the stairs in the middle of the theatre. “You should fall of the stage rather quick for slaughtering Shakespeare in such a rude way.” Your head snapped around to her and your eyes filled with tears. THAT was exactly what you had feared as you had secluded yourself all those months. Some bully like her, enjoying to bring you even further to your knees then you already were.

“Tell me Tom…what do you see in her…is she a good fuck? I mean, do you like that she does not make a sound? Do you like your women dumb and deaf? Because if that is so you should take my number out of your pocket and throw it away. I am not any of those things!”

 

Tom disbelievingly felt in his pocket and saw her number on the paper with some words he really didn´t want to read.  

 

Your throat closed up, the tears in your eyes threatened to spill out, but you didn´t want to break in front of her or Tom. You barely had glued yourself together with the help of your friends and Tom and you hated the fact that someone like her could dissolve you again so easily. You turned and walked of stage…after 3 steps you started to run. Tom staring behind you before you could hear him yell at Hero. Oh, he was pissed, but you didn´t register his words, nor the pounding footsteps as he followed you out. You burst out the door onto the streets and ran…crying silently.

“(Y/N)!!!” You heard Tom yell from afar but you couldn´t stop. Not here, not were everybody was looking at you in pity or laughing at you. You didn´t see that mostly nobody was watching you, you were in a spiral back down to the point where you were at the start after you discovered you couldn´t speak.

 

You ran into the tube station. Tom following you, trying to track were you were going and evade to run people over. “PLEASE, DARLING WAIT!” he sounded desperate. But there was no way he could reach you in the state you were in just now. Catching a tube as it just was about to close its doors Tom had no chance to get to you. Standing on the platform as the train took speed, he grabbed his hair in both hands and kicked a trashcan. “SHIT!!”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO MUCH for your comments on this story!! I am very glad to hear you liked chapter 4 !! I do hope chapter 5 is what you wanted it to be. I tried to transport the feelings as good as possible !!

Barely holding yourself together you cling to the bar in the train, closing your burning eyes. Stumbling out at a stop as you barley noticed the announcement where you were you started to walk mechanically out of the station and into Regents Park. It was getting Dark and only very few People were jogging along the Lake route. You couldn´t break, you wouldn’t break…yet. But tears were streaming nonstop out of your eyes. Walking the Route through the Park just to cross Prince Albert Road to enter Primrose Hill. The walk up the green hill made you breathless.

Everything burned. Your eyes, your lungs.

 

It was only as you reached the empty bench on the top of the hill, overlooking London’s Skyline light up, that the first sob left your closed-up throat. You broke down. Finally. Clinging to your legs, keeping them close to your body on the bench you sobbed and cried until your jeans was wet where your head had rested.

 

Tom was looking franticly for you. He took the tube and ran to your home.

But you weren’t there. He checked his place next. Nothing. Totally out of breath and sort of panicking he called Julia.

 

“Julia, is (Y/N) with you?”   
“Tom? What is wrong you sound frightened. No, she is not here, why?” Julia’s voice became a little unsteady herself. Tom gave her a quick rundown what had happened and he and Julia swore in between. “Have you checked her place?”

“Yes, she is not there…nor at my place. She was in a bad place Julia, I am scared, what have I done?!”

Julia tired to regain herself. “You did nothing wrong Tom…You tried to give her something back she missed dearly…you can´t blame yourself for that.. bitch!”

A tear left Toms eye. “But I…” his voice broke. “No! You. Didn´t. Do. Anything. Wrong! I was in your place once. Believe me, you couldn´t have changed it. She needs to be outside, keeping her save and wrap her in gloves won´t do her any good!” Tom gulped and rubbed his eyes.

 

“Calm down first, I´ll help you find her, as will Sam, Paul, Jack and Christine. I´ll call them right after we hang up. I can only think of some places she could be. Try the Rose Gardens in Regents Park or Primrose Hill. I´ll check the other locations near Tower Bridge! We will find her Tom! And we will gather the broken pieces and glue them together even stronger then before!”

Tom nodded and jogged to the next underground station.

“Thank you Julia.. I would be lost without you!”

Julia gathered her things and was on her way too.

“Tom…just hold her when you find her…just hold her…she might not be responsive!”

 

This would be the worst-case scenario. Julia didn´t want to frighten Tom more then he was already but he needed to be prepared. Praying to whoever was up there that you wouldn’t have hit rock-bottom again, or worse, she called the other 4 and each of them was on their way in sheer minutes.

Tom got out at Baker street and ran into the park. There was only little light left besides the lightbulbs guiding the way. To his dismay the rose garden was empty. Taking a breath, he closed his eyes to visualise the shortest route to Primrose Hill. He had run through this park often enough that he would find it even in the darkness.

 

“Please be there!” He said before he took off whilst typing a message to Julia.

 

>Not in rose garden! Checking Primrose Hill now!

 

Jack, Paul, Sam and Christine had no luck either. Searching all the spots they knew you liked and sending each other messages. Julia checked the last places that came to her mind. Closing her eyes for a second, she tilted her head skywards. She would personally tear that bitch apart for hurting you so out of spite and because she wanted to get to Tom.

 

Tom just crossed the street separating the greens from Regents Park and Primrose Hill. Almost 2 hours had past since he lost you in the tube station. 2 hours that he was frightened and scared and angry on behalf of you. On the base of the hill Tom paused and locked up. He caught his breath for the run up and stopped to scan the area as his eyes saw the bench. Something, someone was moving up there. He could only make out a shade but that didn´t matter, his heart began to beat even faster. He jolted into a run up the hill and as he came nearer and nearer, he heard the hiccupping sobs that came not regularly anymore. His heart broke again as he saw you all bundled up into a ball of tears and sniffles.

 

Tom didn´t stop until he was in front of you. Sitting down next to you he closed his arms around you. You flinched slightly but he didn´t let go. “Shh…it´s me.. Tom…it´s me…I got you…” he murmured as soft as possible after what felt like a marathon. Resting his head on yours he closed his eyes in relief that he had found you somewhat safe. Fiddling with one hand he wrote Julia that he was with you. Not awaiting a response, he put his phone away and just kept you close and stroked your back.

 

Half an hour passed without you saying anything and Tom just murmuring soft words and holding you. At the base of the hill one friend after another sat down in the grass and just waited, giving each other comfort in silence. They knew Tom had you and he would get to you somehow.

“Darling…” Tom said softly. “Please…give me a sign that you know that you are save with me..”

Another breathless sob. But then. “Tom?” Your voice was hoarse, your throat so sore and raw literally everything hurt! Your body had locked itself into a position it couldn´t get out of fast.

“Yes, love.. it´s me…I am here..” Tom said softly and helped you uncurl your arms from your legs and getting your legs down from the bench.

 

“Slowly love, you must hurt quite a lot…” He stroked your arms and your back again.

“Tom?” you said again and lifted your head to look at him. You must be a pretty awful sight now. You had cried until there was nothing left anymore. Tom touched your cheek and sighed softly full of relief. “Yes darling..” he looked into your eyes in the dark that surrounded you.

 

“I…I…am..so..so…sorry!” You got out without much voice left and threw your arms around him.

Tom tugged you onto his lap and just held you very close. He kissed your neck, your hair your forehead. “Don´t be.. I am sorry I was not faster to get into the tube with you.” Another 10 minutes passed without any words between the both of you. Tom just holding you, giving silent comfort before he said. “Are you ready to go home? You are shaking and you are freezing even with me keeping you close…Let me take care of you please…” He tilted up your face to look into your eyes before he pointed in another direction. “And look…down there are 4 wonderful people waiting for you to come down.”

  

You followed his direction and your breath hitched a little. But you nodded, feeling totally exhausted and empty. Gradually getting up on your shaking legs Tom held you close and kept you steady. The walk down the hill was hurtful and slow but as you made it your friends got up and engulfed Tom and you in a ball of hugs and squeezes. “I…I..am.. o..k..” You gasped and Julia looked into your eyes crying. “You scared the hell out of us…Don´t ever let some bitch get to you like that again! I´ll gladly booo her if she gets to keep the part...no offense Tom, but this sodding bastard needs to feel some of her own medicine.” “Non-taken. If she stays, I will not do the play…that simple…I´ll gladly boo with you. First row seats on me!”  

 

Leave it to Julia to give it to you straight…and Tom backing her up. You actually let out a snort but your knees almost buckled as the group retracted from the big hug. Tom catching you and lifting you up in his arms. “There is a Taxi waiting, bring our Girl home Tom. We´ll be there in the morning!”

Sam said and kissed your head. Tom nodded and thanked every one of them before he carried you into the waiting Taxi. Giving your address he tugged you close. It didn´t even take 2 minutes before you were asleep in his arms. Only coming to you as Tom sat you down on the bed.

 

“S…Sho…shower!” you said slurring. “Are you sure, you can barley stand?” Tom hunkered in front of you. “Yes…ple..please!” You looked at your clothes and took the shirt of. Wincing softly. Shit, you were sore… “I´ll help, wait love!” Tom undressed you but hesitated a second as he got to your underwear. “We´ll just keep that on and change out of it later.” He said softly and undressed himself so far as his boxers. He would not take advantage of this situation. He wanted to help, but just help it was. You had been going forward slowly with your affection and that was Ok for him. He wanted you to decide when you would be ready. When you wanted to share something more with him.

 

“Come on love, lets get you under some hot water!” He lifted you up again and carried you into the small shower. “S…stay please..” You said and looked into his eyes.

“I will not leave your side until you say so love!” he vowed and got the water to the right temperature after setting you down but keeping you steady with one arm.

 

The water almost hurt but felt good at the same time. Tom washed your hair with a patience and softness that nearly brought tears to your eyes again. You felt awful. What did he think of you now? Would he only stay as long as you needed him and then leave for good? No, he wasn´t that kind of a man. Why would he have searched for you and held you all the way till you could come out of your state if he would just leave tomorrow then?

 

“Darling...I can see your thoughts…just be still love…I am not going anywhere!”

He kissed you and rinsed your hair out. After getting you into a fluffy towel he helped you to sit on the bed and looked at you, “I´ll just wash myself real quick…you can change your underwear while I am in the bath…” You just nodded and he went to shower himself quickly. He put all the clothes into the washer and wrapped a towel around himself. He had no change of clothes.

 

A little unsure he looked around but his phone signalled up. It was Sam.

 

>Got you some new clothes and left them in the kitchen. Thought you could need them. Will not use the spare key for anything else then emergencies. Sam

 

Quickly typing a thank you to Sam Tom got the new boxers and the sweatpants with a shirt and dressed. Coming back into the bedroom He saw you sitting in a big shirt on your bed.

“Let´s get you comfortable.” He smiled at you as you just laid down and held out your hand.

Tom took it and you tugged him onto the bed. “Thank you…” That came out quicker than usual but still hoarse.

 

Tom bend down and kissed you softly. “No thanks needed…never for helping you. Thank you for trusting me enough to let me help you!” He stroked away a wet strand of hair.

“Do you want me to stay the night?” he asked softly. You just nodded and cuddled up to him. Searching his body heat and his strong arms. Tom gladly engulfed you and got comfortable with you after he got the sheets over the both of you. Killing the light, he held you close until your breathing changed and signalled you were fast asleep. Only then did he let out the breath he was holding since you had run out of the theatre.

 

You were save and had let him in enough to take care of you…now he only had to make you believe that this would not change the way he felt about you. Drifting of into a superficial sleep he kept you close till morning came.


	6. Chapter 6

The first hours you had slept without moving a millimetre away from Tom. But later, as the first exhaustion had lifted your sleep got more restless. You turned and moved for a moment until Tom engulfed you in his arms again and stroked you back into a deeper sleep murmuring a poem because he could not think of something else as tired as he was himself. As morning came your heavy eyelids were hard to open, but you were conscious enough to register the heat around you and the strong arm above your waist. Tom…he was still asleep.

 

Your mind began to spin nearly already, trying to recall the hours after the incident in the theatre. Shit, you had run away…leaving him behind. You had made him search you for what felt like hours to you right now. You had made all your friends and Tom scared and searching for you…because of what…one woman who wanted to get into Toms pants and needed you out of the way.

Her words had hurt you, she had been like a hunter…knowing exactly where your week spot was just after seconds of looking at you. But you didn´t want to be prey, you didn´t want to be hunted anymore! Could you not have made this conclusion any earlier? Shit you had to apologize to everybody for yesterday, but most frightened you were about Toms reaction.

 

He had cared for you, he had stayed, but he must be angry with you for leaving him like that, for making him run through London half the night. For Christ sake, he had showered you and tucked you in like a scared child after a nightmare. This was not something he should have needed to do, you are his girlfriend, not a child he needed to look after… or were you his girlfriend?!

 

“Thoughts….can hear them!” Tom rasped sleepily and tucked you closer.

“Sorry!” You said quietly and tried to hold still…even your mind. 2 minutes later Tom started to move a bit and came even closer to you. Nearly locking you in his embrace. “Tom?” you asked hoarse.

“Wouldn´t want you to run again, would we?” He looked at you with sleepy eyes and smiled half a smile. “But love, we are having a conversation regarding yesterday, and we are having it now. I don´t want your sweet little mind running another marathon like earlier!”

 

Here it comes, you thought….

 

“Can´t…sign..that…way!” You got out, not registering that the words were in one piece, not cut up and stuttered anymore. Tom shrugged. “You don´t need to for this moment because you will listen to me at first!”  Closing your eyes for a second because you felt that they began to burn you just tried to nod and gulped. He was breaking up with you for what had happened. You knew it…

 

“Love, open your eyes please, look at me. I want you to look into my eyes and see that I do mean everything I say!!!” His voice was soft, warm even. Did he try to make the fall more comfortable?

You peeked out of one eye at first which made Tom laugh a little.

“What happened yesterday was probably one of the worst feelings I had in…ever.” He started.

“Seeing your face go all pale and then run out on me, jumping into that train that I could not reach in time…not knowing where you would go…I was scared out of my mind, darling.”

You tried to say something, but Tom wasn´t finished.

 

“If it wasn´t for Julia, I would not even have known where to look for you…”

He had to clear his throat.

“Finding you on top of that hill broke my heart and stitched it together again at the same time. I was so relieved to see you were in one piece and somewhat save!” He did not mention how much like a wreck you must have looked! “Having you in my arms again and knowing that I could hold you close and keep you save and that I was the one that could care for you now, with the backup from your best friends, eased me. I won´t lie, for some moments I wanted to shield you from everything, put you in bubble wrap and hide you in my Tower!” He grinned a little bit.

“But that will not solve the problem, love!”

 

Taking a deep breath, he looked deep into your eyes. “You need to trust me, you need to trust us.” He stroked a strand of hair out of your face. “But for the most part, you need to trust yourself. You need to believe that you are stronger than any of those bullies out there. WE are stronger!” His nose nudged yours in a sweet gesture. “I can´t say that I am not hurt a bit, but THIS does not change ANYTHING between us. I do understand why you reacted how you reacted but please…Don´t shut me out again. I am your boyfriend, I can handle your hurt and pain, but I can´t handle you running away from me again!” His voice broke with his last words.

 

Now the both of you had tears in their eyes.

He was not breaking up with you?! He had said very clearly how he felt and what he needed from you now. But it was nothing you could not give him. He just asked for something you should have given him all along. Trust, without holding back, without keeping some part of it still to yourself.

Your arms were still engulfed in his embrace and your voice would only betray you now.

Ah, to hell with it! “I…can…do.. that!” You said slowly. “I…trust…you! I am…so…sorry for….hurting…you!” Tears spilled out of your and Toms eyes. “You better!” he rasped, smiling a little before he kissed you full of the emotion that had build up since yesterday!

 

Tom slowly let go of you so that you would be able to get your arms out of his embrace. But you weren´t ready to let go…your arms lifted around him as much as possible and tucked him close again.

Now he wasn´t just holding you, no…you were holding each other! A slow soft kiss before he smiled at you and asked. “How are your muscles feeling? Are you very sore?!”

Your arms and legs still hurt when you moved in a certain way, but you would live.

“I think you´ll have some more guests in the next half hour…Let´s get you up and moving?”

Tom yawned and shook his head to keep himself focused. “And me too!”

 

Lifting a hand to his cheek you began to stroke his stubbled jaw.

“I….am…glad…you´re..still..here…” You said slowly and quietly. “Thank..you..Tom!”

Tom smiled the first deep, eye-reaching smile since yesterday.

“You will not get rid of me that fast, love.” Thieving another kiss Tom hugged you one last time before he got out of bed to stretch his long and lean body. You watched him with a smile before you took a steeling breath and tried to sit up yourself. “OUCH!”  you whined as you stood and stretched yourself.

 

“Sitting still will not help, as much as it hurts… you and me will take a walk later!”

The gloves were probably off now. Tom would not hold back any longer… he would push you more as he had done already, but you needed to get a grip on that because everything else would be futile to your health, mental as bodily! Nodding you smiled a little. “If…I live..after my… friends were…here”

Tom laughed “I´ll try to keep you save darling! They were scared too!”

 

Half an hour later you and Tom had prepared a big full English breakfast, maybe this would lighten the mood a bit before they would bite your head off. A soft knock sounded at the door.

“You can ring the bell! I smell beans on toast!” Sam’s voice sounded and he rang the bell and knocked the same time. Laughing you opened the door and smiled at your friends who were lined up and looked at you. Tom appeared behind you and smiled. “You smelled right Sam…I hope you are hungry!”

 

The men stumbled in first. All hugging you and kissing your cheek. Julia came last. She looked at you.

“You ok?” was all she asked. You nodded and signed to her.

 

_Yes, Tom screwed my head on straight again after waking up. I am so sorry I made you go through this again. I can´t even explain why that bitch got to me like that. Thank you for helping him find me and for waiting for me to come down. I love you!_

 

Julia sighed and dabbed away a tear. “Be prepared to sign that again for everybody else! But I love you too!” She hugged you and went inside. Closing the door with a sigh you took a breath. That was the first step… As everybody was seated you were the only one standing and the eyes of your friends were weary and tired. They didn´t seem to have slept well this night.

 

You signed to them what you had told Julia at the door and added a bit more, tried to ease their feelings and the hurt you had caused them…again. Sam got up and hugged you. He was like a brother to you and that would never change. “You had made good progress before yesterday, don´t let that set you back to the start again. You have all of us as a shield if need be, but you need to get a thicker skin. There will always be bitches like her. Show her, don´t run. Head held high and forward we go!” He winked at you and hugged you again. “Now….can we eat? I am starving lady!” He grinned and set back down. Tom laughed and rubbed his hands. “Me too, dig in!”

 

Everybody stuffed their faces, but you just watched for a minute. Smiling. You had lucked out with these lot. Your friends didn´t shy away when the water got a bit rougher. No, they strapped their life-vests tighter and held on for the ride. And Tom…he was heaven sent. You could not have asked for more! Looking up your eyes met and he winked and blew you a kiss over the table. The mood got lighter by the minute. Laughter started to sound, conversations flowed and Sam and Tom battled for the last sausage. Julia just put her head on your shoulder and smiled.

 

You would be ok…all of you!


	7. Chapter 7

After the breakfast with your friends it took some days to really let it sink in that Tom wasn´t going to go away because of what happened. He was a bit unsure when you two went outside for 2 days. He didn´t tell you, but you could feel the tension in him whenever you had to interact with people. Trying to save you from it was not the right way to go forward, he was correct about that, even if it seemed that he had trouble to keep himself from stepping in at every possible chance you could get hurt again. Slowly you got your feet back on steady ground, you needed to be bolder, be braver. And Tom needed to see it.

 

A week after the incident You stood in front of the theatre again. Your heartbeat was erratic to say the least. Your hands were wet but you NEEDED to do this. Taking a deep breath, you opened the stage door and were greeted by the doorman with a warm smile.

“You´re Toms girl! He´s behind the stage. You know the way?!”

Nodding you smiled at him and went inside. Taking another calming breath, you tried to muster a smile and reached out to open the door as it was pulled open with force for you.

 

Bitchy Hero looked at you with disgust on her face. “Are you happy? You got me fired!” She spit out and glared at you. “Oh no, you got yourself fired Missy! I am not having any of your antics just because you think you are pretty and can get away with it.” You didn´t know the man who was talking, but you assumed he was the man in charge here.

“Try to find someone better than me! I think you will not be successful! Why don´t you take Silent girl here…” She stormed out and jostled into you.

You took the brunt, stepped in front of her and looked her in the eyes.

“I am.. not silent! ..Pleasant…Journey!” With that you stepped out of the way and smiled…The words had come out faster then you had thought, good!

 

Seeing her leave with a red head and murmuring insults made you smile a little devilish. No, you were not bitchy in any way, but she had it coming. “Karma..” The man said and smiled at you.

“You must be (Y/N). I´m Ian, the director and I am very sorry that you had to make such an unpleasant experience…Feel free to drop in whenever you like to watch rehearsals.”

Smiling you took his hand and said

“Thank.. you Ian!” Walking with him through the corridor you heard Toms voice. He was on stage giving his fellow actor a cue to start of a new scene in the play. His voice engulfed you nearly directly and made you feel save. Smiling Ian showed you to some seats from where he would watch his actors and motioned for you to sit next to him.

Silently you sat down and smiled as you saw Tom in full costume, talking to the actor who played Don Pedro. He had his text prepared and it was already delightful how he treated the words with actions and gestures to become even more alive than with his brilliant voice alone.

 

 **DON PEDRO** **:** Now, signior, where's the count? did you see him?

 **BENEDICK** **:** Troth, my lord, I have played the part of Lady Fame.  
I found him here as melancholy as a lodge in a warren: I told him, and I think I told him true,  
that your grace had got the good will of this young lady; and I offered him my company to a willow-tree, either to make him a garland, as being forsaken, or to bind him up a rod, as being worthy to be whipped.

With the last word Tom turned to where the audience would sit and spotted you. He did a double take but then started to grin very radiantly. Ian nudged you and stood up.

“Well, Tom. I am very glad you are happy to see me…” He teased. Tom Laughed a little.

“I do my fair director, I do, but the lady sitting next to you captured my attention as a shooting star would catch the attention of a stargazer.” You blushed a little but grinned at Tom who bowed very elegantly and held out a hand for you to mount the stage with the help of the 3 little steps.

 

“Go ahead, kiss that poor fella!” Ian laughed and yelled “30 minutes break!”

Shaking your head a little, you stood up and let Tom help you to the stage. He engulfed you in his arms almost instantly and bend you backwards for a kiss. “How come you are here?” He asked near your lips. But then the joy of seeing you got clouded over with fear. “You saw bitchy Hero?”

He straightened you again but kept your waist in a firm grip as if he was scared that you would run again. Last time you were on stage with him wasn´t a pleasant memory for him, or you.

 

“She did indeed..” Ian said as he walked up the stage too. “She saw me as I fired her…And if I might say so, your Lady managed to make her fume. Deservedly so!” With that Ian was backstage and Tom just stared at you. “What did you do?!” Grinning a little sheepish you started to tell him what had happened. It took you a while but even eager to hear everything Tom gave you all the time you needed to get the words out. “She jostled into you and you stepped in her way?” He asked in awe.

“Good Lord, I would have liked to see that!” He laughed and kissed you deeply.

 

As his lips let you take in a new breath, he put his forehead against yours and softly said

“I am so proud that you came back here, that you faced her and stood firm.”

“You are…here.. wanted to..see you!” You slowly said and kissed him.

His eyes were shiny as he looked at you after the kiss. Smiling at him you touched his cheek and gave him another kiss. “You are…mine!”

Tom grinned and winked at you

“Indeed I am…but tell me again when we are in bed later!” 

 

Looking mockingly shocked at him you signed

_Who said you and I would share a bed tonight? We have shared one only once…_

And that was the time when all had gone to hell after you ran…

“I do!” He smirked “You and I are going to have a proper…sleepover…tonight and don´t even try to change my mind!” He stole another kiss and hugged you close. “Thank you for coming to see me! It really means a lot to me!” This man…he really was trouble! From suggestive to sweet and charming in 0.1 seconds straight. How could you say no?! To hell, you didn´t want to say no anyhow!

“Darling… have you forgotten, I can hear your thoughts!” You laughed and bit your lip before saying.

“Then you… know…my answer” 

You got out of Toms hug and went backstage with him watching you with a big grin on his face.

“Yes?!” He asked before coming after you. Turning to him you signed with an arch of your eyebrow.

 

_I thought you know ??!_

The rest of the break you and Tom talked to the other actors and shared some minutes alone before he had to be back on stage. “Stay?” he asked before he had to leave. You just nodded and kissed him.

Walking back to the seats you relaxed and watched the play come to life bit by bit.

 

Taking in this theatre and the people on stage you felt a sense of rightness, of calm come over you like a soft blanket. You never have had that feeling besides with your close friends in your or their home after the illness. But now…it was a relief to feel a bit more like yourself again. Able to enjoy what you had enjoyed before and not being brought down by anybody. You had faced of bitchy Hero and you had stood your ground. Seeing Toms proud look had made it so much more worth it to overcome the fear of being bullied again.

 

You felt different than the last time you had hit the ground. This time you felt stronger somehow.

 

There would be setbacks for sure, but you would not allow ANYBODY to crash you completely again!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fast Update :) Hope you have fun reading it !!

Watching Tom on stage, even if this were the first tries to act it out, was phenomenal. His voice, his demeanour, his skill with words was breath taking. 2 hours later Tom sat down on the wooden floor of the stage as the director called it a night. He clearly was exhausted and needed to take a breather.

His co-actors went backstage and packed up for leave into a well-deserved weekend. Climbing onto the stage you sat next to him with a smile on your face. Tom leaned in and gave you a soft kiss.

 

“Thank you for staying!” As if this was all he could muster at this moment he lay down completely and closed his eyes for a minute. Watching him for a second with a soft smile on your face, you decided that you would join him.

“Tom…it was…my pleasure..watching you..was…awesome!” You softly said and aligned yourself with his head. A smile tugged up his lips and he blindly found your hand to entwine it with his own.

“Thank you! Just need a minute, love…then I am good to go.” he breathed and let go of all the tension he needed to keep whilst acting. You lifted his hand to your mouth and kissed it.

“Take all …the time..you need!”

 

The both of you just lay there in silence for a while. In the middle of the stage. In this old Theatre.

Somewhen Tom turned his head to look at you. He smiled and rolled onto his side, lifting your entwined hands to his lips to place a kiss on it.

“Your words are coming faster and in one piece…” His beautiful eyes were so blue and soft as he smiled at you again that you needed to roll onto your side as well and stole a kiss.

“I know…it is …getting…easier to speak…for me…”

Suddenly the lights went out and you lay there in darkness.

Tom chuckled as you flinched for a second but then you laughed too.

“It´s like when I made you talk in darkness as I was in your home…”

You felt him coming closer while talking.

“You said my name for the first time that day, it felt so good to hear it out loud.”

His lips were on yours as he finished his last word. Kissing you slowly and soft before he hovered over you. “Say it again?” his voice was a mere, deep whisper.

“Tom!” you grinned, and rolled away as he tried to kiss you anew.

“HEY! You didn´t do that the first time!” He laughed and felt around to get a hold of you.

 

Chuckling you got up on your feet and said “No, but…I did now!” The lights went on again and Tom hefted himself up and stalked you to the far end of the stage.

“You owe me a kiss, darling!” Oh, this voice. One hand of his was next to your head, the other one was hanging loosely at his side. You pecked his cheek and were gone again.

Tom laughed out loud and pushed himself off of the wall.

“A real kiss (Y/N)!” His eyes were fixed on you as he walked over to were you stood.

 

Taking his collar into your hands you tugged him the last remaining space and stood on tip toes to kiss him. Holding on to your waist he rumbled pleasurably as your lips drifted apart again.

“Let´s go..home…Tom!” You said and his eyes lit up for a second.

 

Tom packed up his stuff and took your hand in his as he said good bye to the doorman. Walking down Leicester Square to the next tube station he laid his arm around you and kissed your forehead.

This was the way he wanted to leave the Theatre with you, arm in arm, not running like a maniac to get to you. Smiling up to him you let your hand glide into the back pocket of his jeans what made him grin. “Hands on tonight?” He asked with a smirk but kissed you softly as he bent down a little.

 

“You…like my hand..on you!” You grinned as you stepped into the train together.   
“True that, can´t deny it…but I would prefer less fabric between us!”

“TOM!” You said playfully abash. Tom chuckled and shrugged a little.

“Only the truth love!”

 

The ride to your home was a quick one.  Tom sat down his bag and closed the door behind the both of you. Getting rid of his shoes he kneeled down to open the laces one after another. Playfully you ruffled his hair before you went inside the kitchen. He must be starving after this exhausting day at the Theatre. Rummaging through your fridge and a cabinet you felt arms engulfing you from behind.

“What are we cooking?” He asked as he kissed your neck and took a deep breath.

“Spaghetti ok..with you?” Toms tummy rumbled and the both of you laughed.

“I think this was enough of an answer!”

 

Cooking with him was fun. You had a quiet dinner and Tom asked if he could use your shower afterwards. It didn´t take long for him to emerge out of your bathroom again in just his sweatpants… barefoot and shirtless. For a second you forgot what you were doing and just stared as his chiselled chest and tummy. Tom grinned and tilted his head. “Love?”

“Huh?” the slight blush that crept onto your cheeks made Tom chuckle.

“Feel free to look AND touch anytime you feel like it…I am your boyfriend after all!” he teased.

 

“Don´t make.. me swoon!” You grinned and let yourself fall onto the sofa with a fake sigh.

Laughing as he walked over to you Tom tugged at your legs and made you lay on your back before he came down on you himself. “Oh, darling.. I am allowed to make you swoon as long as I am there to catch you!” The kiss he laid on you was hot, very hot. And the way he pressed against you was even more so.

 

Tom nibbled at your bottom lip. “Touch me love!?” He said in his deep timbre and made goose bumps appear on your arms. Your arms lifted without thinking about it and stroked his sides and his muscled back. Tom shivered under your touch and started a new hot kiss that set your insides on fire.

For some minutes you lay there and explored each other with demanding hands and sinful kisses.

You were together for a while now, but this night was different then all the others you had spend time with each other.

 

Till now you had been to occupied with trying to get better, with all your bundled-up emotions that had held you back to actually get better in the first place. But since tonight, since facing the fear to walk into the Theatre again you felt different somehow. No, not different…you felt like yourself again. You had let go of a lot of unneeded emotional baggage and could really enjoy and open up to the thought that you and Tom were taking another step into a serious relationship.

 

As Tom needed to take a breath from yet another kiss you stroked his cheek and smiled at him.

Your shirt hat bundled up under your bra and the hand that was not balancing him above you was under it. “Can I…get up?” You asked him a little hoarse. Toms gaze got serious for a second, but without asking he got up and held out his hand. You really loved him for it. He did not ask why, or argue that he wanted to stay that way. No, he trusted your words and accepted them without a hitch. After getting up from the sofa you wrapped your arms around his naked waist and looked up to him.

 

“Come with me…” 3 words, spoken fast and almost normal, that held so much more meaning then just the simple order to follow you. Tom smiled as you tucked him along.

“Where are we going, love?”

“To my Bedroom…I want to do… stuff!”

The cheeky grin on Toms face was hilarious.

“Oh, I do hope I AM STUFF!”

 

It turned out he was… and you were too…


	9. Chapter 9

In the doorframe to your bedroom Tom hugged you from behind and made you stop. You could feel his arousal pressed against your back. The kissing and touching on the sofa had already done its work. He stroked your hair back to one side and kissed your neck. His tongue was teasing your skin as his hands found their way under your shirt and made quick work to bundle it up and take it off of you, his hands never losing touch to your skin. Leaning against his broad chest you stroked his arms as they came around you again and looked sideways up to him.

 

There were no words needed. Your gazes spoke pretty clearly what the both of you wanted. Tom had stood by you all those weeks without any pressure.

He was a very tactile person, but not even one time had you thought that you needed to be more `hands on` as he had said teasingly earlier today.

Tom turned you in his arms and stroked down your back as he initiated another hot tangle of your lips. His long fingers snapped your bra open and the grin that tugged up his lips made you laugh softly. Tenderly he took the straps between his fingers and stripped you out of the white lace bra.

Now the both of you were topless. Toms gaze hungrily took in your naked chest. A soft sigh escaped him and he bend again to kiss you yet another time. With his strong arms he got a hold of your hips and before you knew it you were hoisted up and pressed against the frame.

 

“Don´t need to bend that way!” he grinned and trailed kisses down your neck and up to your lips again. His sweatpants and your soft pants were no real barrier anymore… You felt him intensely pressing against your core, and he would feel the heat that radiated of your core.

Without consciously thinking about it you started to circle your hips. Tom gasped a heated breath and pressed harder against you. You had one hand around his neck and the other one clutched the frame above your head. Oh god, that felt so damn good.

 

A wet kiss teased your neck as you continued to move and the friction was arousing you and Tom more and more. Moaning quietly, you closed your eyes and guided his head up again.

“Kiss me Tom!” You said normally again and Tom answered your soft plea directly.

His tongue played with yours in a sweet and sensual tangle and his hips joined your movements. The open-mouthed kiss got more and more heated as you felt a sweet release coming. Ending the kiss to cry out in pleasure Tom grinned very pleased to see you coming apart in his arms. He didn´t stop his movement and stroked you down from your orgasm with soft words how sexy you were.

 

Opening your eyes, you blushed a little as you looked into Toms sparkling eyes.

“Don´t…” He just said and kissed you “That was the hottest thing I have ever seen…” He grinned.

“But we aren´t yet undressed so I might change that statement in the next minutes!”

Tom kissed you as he said “Hold on tight love!” Then he began to walk to your bed. His sheer strength amazed you. He had held you up all the while and was still able to lay you down slowly, following directly. “Tell me what you want me to do!” He said hoarse but grinned mischievous.

 

“You only want me to…talk..” you grinned and kissed him.

“Oh yes darling…” His hands roamed between your bodies and palmed your breast.

“ohh god Tom…” You moaned as he teased your nipple.

Your hands stroked down his back and pushed the sweatpants off his buttocks.

“Take it off!” You said and Tom grinned. “And what about your pants?”

“Those too!” You said and bit your lip. A last hard kiss before Tom kneeled on the bed and pulled your pants AND panties off with a single pull. Then his pants followed and you gasped as you saw the size of his pulsing arousal.

 

Tom grinned a little lopsided and came back on top of you. He kissed you intensely and nearly senseless before he looked deep into your eyes and waited for you to say something, to signal that you wanted to take that step.  You did not have to think about it very hard.

“I want you Tom….” Tom gasped as he heard those words from your lips and pushed in a little.

Neither he nor you had recognized that your speech was nearly normal, too occupied with all the things you made each other feel.

 

You hadn´t thought he would fit, but he did…and OH, did he feel good. He made you forget everything around you…He made you feel a million feelings at once and he made you want him even more as he said your name into your ear and started to move in earnest.

Hot kisses, exploring hands and a lot of moans filled the treasurable time you shared your bodies with each other. Tom was a very generous lover, he only allowed himself to give into his own pleasure after you had come apart around his hard length with a cry leaving your conjoined lips.

It didn´t take him long before he too cried out in lust. The look on his face would be branded into your soul forever. It had taken you a while before you two shared this intimate connection, but it was worth the wait…and it couldn´t have been more perfect.

 

Tom slowly pulled out of your hot core and collapsed next to you tugging you against him with a pleasured grin. Neither of you talked for a while. You just cuddled and kissed before Tom nudged your nose with his and looked deeply into your eyes.

“You are mine…and I am head over heels in love with you!... I have been for a while now.”

Your heart soared and your eyes seemed to glow as you kissed him with all your emotions pouring out of you.

 

“I am in love with you too, Tom!”

 

Tom stared for a second before he grinned like a Cheshire cat.

“Oh, (Y/N)…love…you are making my heart sing… and….” He looked at you.

“You said a whole sentence without a hitch…”

 

The look on your face was pure, joyful shock!!!


	10. Chapter 10

Tom still grinned so broad that you could only grin too. Had you really said a whole sentence without stopping or stammering? Here you lay in Toms arms with him looking at you so happy and proud that you couldn´t believe it. It must be a dream. For a second you smiled back at him, but then your face fell. Tom frowned a little. “Darling, what´s wrong?” But then it dawned on him. You were afraid to say something else, afraid that it was just THIS ONE sentence your mouth had gotten out without a hitch. “No, love…No, don´t be afraid.” Tom kissed your forehead lovingly.

“You know that you have gotten better over the last weeks. Even if this was just the first sentence for a while it was the FIRST sentence you talked in normal speed. So, you are capable of it, take the victory, claim it! Don´t think about what ifs!”

 

He was right. If you weren´t meant to regain your speech you should not be able to bring out a complete sentence at all. But still, you were afraid. Tom kissed you another time and smiled.

“Too much pressure with me looking at you?” He asked softly and you nodded a little hesitantly.

“Ok, I´ll be in the kitchen getting something to drink for the both of us…and I may take 3 minutes…”

He winked at you and entangled himself from you and the tousled sheets but before he could get up completely you grabbed his hand. You could not do it without him.

“Please, don´t…leave.” You said hushed.

 

Tom smiled at you and tilted his head. “Ok, come here!” He said and took you back into his arms again. Your head went to lay on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Some moments passed in utter silence before you took a breath and closed your eyes. Toms fingers stroked your naked back softly and he began to recite something.

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate.

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And summer’s lease hath all too short a date.”

 

You took a breath again and as Tom paused you just tried to say the next lines.

“…Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,” Your eyes got bigger and bigger as every word came out like you had it in your head. Tears started to well but Tom carried on. His voice full of pried and awe that you had tried and accomplished what you had set your mind on doing.

“And often is his gold complexion dimmed;

And every fair from fair sometime declines,

By chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimmed;

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,

Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st,

Nor shall death brag thou wand’rest in his shade,

When in eternal lines to Time thou grow’st…”

With all the emotion in your voice that turmoiled inside you, you and Tom finished the sonnet together. “So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,… So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.”

Looking at each other as you finished the last words Tom and you shed a tear but smiled so broad it almost hurt. “(Y/N), I…” Tom was lost for words. He kissed you instead of talking and grinned afterwards. “God, I love you!” He gasped gently and his baby blue eyes gazed into yours.

A soft laugh burst out of you and now you stole a kiss from this incredible human next to you.

He had never made you feel uncomfortable or inadequate. He had always stood beside you, helped you cope and had the most interesting ideas how to get you to talk to him. You were sure that he had a big part in your recovery. Sure, you had worked your ass off in therapy the last months, but Tom gave you the courage to be there in the first place, to try and talk. Your friends had helped very much as well, you couldn´t be prouder to call them your best friends and that they had stood by you all this time wasn´t lost to you!

 

“I love you too Tom! With…all my heart!” There had been only the slightest pause in the second sentence but you could live with that. It felt more natural than before. You weren´t consciously stammering anymore like before when you literally felt the hitch in your brain while speaking. 

Tom hugged you even closer and stroked the hair back from your face.

“I can´t express how I feel at the moment” He said softly and smiled. He didn´t have to, you could see it in his face, you could hear it in his erratic heartbeat.

 

This night was all about love, all about him and you holding each other close as night fell and it got quiet outside. Totally entangled, the both of you fell asleep and did not let go of each other till morning came.

 

Somewhen in the morning hours you woke up to find an empty bed where Tom had been. The sheets were still warm so he wasn´t up very long you guessed. Stretching a little you heard his voice in the bathroom. He seemed to be on the phone. Not 2 minutes later he came back into the bedroom and smiled as he saw you were awake. “Did I wake you love? I got a call and had to make one myself. I´m sorry!” He climbed back into bed and hovered above you with a very gorgeous smile on his handsome face. You shook your head and stole a kiss.

“Good. But I had planned to sneak back under the covers before you would wake up. I wanted you to wake up in my arms!” He pouted but could not keep it for very long before a new smile lit up his face again.

Laughingly you closed your eyes and faked a soft snore. Tom chuckled and tugged you close. As you lifted your head with a fake yawn a little later, Tom grinned. “Good morning love!”

“Morning!” You giggled. Tom could not keep a straight face either and laughed out loud.

“Some actress you are!” He teased and stole a kiss.

 

“Only to keep your sweet soul safe!” You grinned and got tickled for that remark. Laughing totally at peace with yourself for the first time this year you try to distract Tom with kisses.  The both of you rolled around the sheets and almost fell of the bed. “Woah!” Tom stopped short and steadied himself with a hand on the ground. A cheeky grin on his face as he looked into your eyes and got into a comfortable position with you again. 

“Darling, I do have the weekend to myself, how about we go out to have dinner tonight?”

You nodded and stole a kiss. “Sounds good to me!”

Tom grinned and pecked your lips again. “Good, because I might have already booked a table!”

 

Shaking your head, you rolled your eyes and hit him with a pillow.

“Trouble Tom! I should call you..that from now on!” Tom grinned and winked the laugh-lines appearing around his eyes. “But YOUR Trouble Tom!” Yes, he was and you would not let him go anytime soon. “Would you like breakfast MY Trouble Tom?” You asked with a broad grin and got out of bed, still very much naked. Tom bit his lip and had a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

“Mhmm…I would like breakfast! Very much so!” He started to stalk you, climbing out of bed also very much naked and breathtakingly handsome.

 

You looked like a dear in headlights as you scrambled up his discarded shirt from yesterday night and quickly slipped it over your head while running into the kitchen, giggling. Tom followed, hopping into his boxers and laughed deeply as he pressed himself onto your backside and you against the countertop. “Why are you running love?” He nibbled on your earlobe and kissed down your neckline.

Oh god, you were in over your head. His hands roamed up your thighs and under his shirt, freeing your behind of the fabric. You could only hold onto the countertop as he widened your stance and one hand found its way to your hot core.

 

“Bu…but breakfast!” You stammered, not because of the aphasia but out of arousal.

“Hmmm…” Tom only hummed and you felt his boxers getting lowered at the front. His long fingers teased your sensitive flesh with soft strokes and slow rubs around your hot core while his tongue licked your neck and his lips placed wet kisses on your shoulder.

“So hungry for you…” Tom murmured and pushed his long, hard shaft inside your wet folds.

You held on to the countertop and braced for his heavenly thrusts.

 

The gasps came quick and the both of you panted equally aroused as Tom drove you and himself to a quick release. Breathing heavy he chuckled near your ear and kissed your cheek.

“I like this breakfast!” You laughed, still out of breath and swatted his behind a little.

“Not very sustainable but delicious!” You said grinning as he slowly pulled out and turned you around to kiss you unhurried but passionately. Tom grinned afterwards and said.

“This must have been my first breakfast that burned calories instead of taking them in.”

You had to laugh out loud at that and hugged him close.

“I´ll take a quick shower and then I will get something to eat on the table!”

Tom grinned “Shower.. oh yes!” But you stopped him with a somewhat stern look!

“Oh no Mister! I take this shower alone, after I am done it´s your turn NOT a second before!”

 

Tom pouted but laughed “Well, as I am not willing to starve till tonight this arrangement seems only fair!” He kissed you again before letting you go. “I´ll start the breakfast then.”

Smiling you went into the bathroom and locked the door, just to be save.

“HEARD THAT!” Tom yelled and you chuckled.

 

After you were done you went into the kitchen and finished what Tom had started so that he could hop in the shower. The difference between the both of you was that he left the door wide open and

whistled some song aloud.  Chuckling to yourself you made some tea and waited for your trouble to come back into the kitchen.

He did….only wrapped in a towel and still dripping from his hair.

The water drops making their way down his chiselled chest.

The grin on his face told you that this was very much deliberately done.

 

TROUBLE!


	11. Chapter 11

Tom and you had a fun day together. You went out into the city and roamed the streets, looking for small shops with unique things to buy. You stopped in the park where you had your first coffee date and lingered on the grass for a while. Toms head resting on your legs while you played with his soft hair in total tranquillity. Enjoying each other’s company, you talked a bit, but mostly just lay there in comfortable silence. After a while Tom looked at you and grinned softly. He took your hand and kissed it. “What?” You asked with a smile. Tom sat up and made you switch places, but before you could lay your head down Tom started a kiss that had your ears steaming in seconds. The wicked gleam in his eyes as he ‘allowed’ you to break free and rest in his lap made you laugh.

 

“To answer your previous What, I don´t know when I have been so at peace with myself in the last years. I finally get to work on things I like, I do have an exceptional beautiful and phenomenal woman that calls me hers by my side and I am just purely happy!”

Leave it to him to make your heart melt with simple words that held so much meaning.

Tom stroked through your hair and smiled down at you. “I do love thee dearest lady (Y/N)”

Your eyes glazed over for a second. “You are going to make me cry…” You said with a happy smile and added. “I am happy too, I don´t think it could get any better than this!” Now you tugged him down for a kiss that Tom was more than willing to give you.

 

In the afternoon Tom and you went to his home to get some clothes, he wanted to stay at your place for the weekend and you were more than happy to say yes to his request.

 

Back at your place the both of you freshened up and dressed for the dinner. No matter how often you asked, Tom wouldn´t say where he was taking you. He just grinned and kissed you anytime you asked. As it was time to leave Tom held out his hand and smiled.

“You look beautiful darling!” He came closer to kiss your cheek and you could smell the waft of cologne invading your senses. He smelled divine and looked very handsome in his Jeans, dress shirt and suit jacket. You had gone for casual chic as well and Tom seemed to like it.

 

Tom took your hand in his and started walking as you had closed your door. He went to the tube station and you commuted 10 minutes into the heart of city. A slow walk later you stood in front of your favourite Italian restaurant and grinned. “Bribing me with Pizza again?” You grinned and remembered the night he had shown up with pizza in his hands. It was the night you had first kissed.

Toms eyes shone as if he was remembering as well and he gave you a quick kiss.

“Maybe I am…” He grinned and opened the door for you.

 

Soft conversations and delicious smells surrounded you nearly directly and you were greeted by the owner. “Ahh…Miss (Y/L/N), Mr Hiddleston your table is ready!” He winked and showed the way, but as you rounded the corner you stopped and smiled wide as all your friends looked at you already seated and waiting. Tom came closer from behind and kissed your cheek while he helped you out of your soft jacket. “Thought you might want to celebrate with them…”

You turned and bestowed a kiss on this sensible, kind human which let your friends hoot and catcall. Tom grabbed your hips and pulled you close, not in any way embarrassed to show PDA in front of your friends.  He grinned as you pulled away after a moment. “Thank you!” You said silently and hugged him another time before turning again to say hello to everybody.

 

Tom got rid of your jackets and pulled a chair out for you. Sam grinned and said “Looks like you got a nice reward for surprising her with us!” Tom laughed “Ehehe.. I do hope that was not all.” Paul laughed loudly and winked to Tom. “Fingers crossed! But from that kiss it looks like you get lucky!”

You rolled your eyes and looked at Julia and Christine.

“He already got lucky and stop the suggestive talk, we are in a fine restaurant after all!”  

 

Everybody stared at you and Tom just grinned at the open-mouthed stares from Christine, Julia, Paul, Sam and Jack. Sam was the first to recover. He got up and went straight to Tom, holding out his hands and wetting his lips. Tom hid behind you and laughed.

“NO, You don´t have to kiss me like (Y/N) did for a surprise.”

Sam grinned and shrugged. “Forgive me Tom, but I have to do this!” And then he smooched you right on the lips. Tom chuckled and tugged you against him afterwards.

“That´s the only time I will look the other way mate!”

 

Julia still had her mouth open and shook her head as Sam sat down again.

“HOW? WHEN? Why didn´t you call directly?”

Everybody laughed and let you sit down after getting hugged like a long-lost teddy bear.

“Don´t know, Yesterday and because it was late…” you started and Tom grinned and added.

“And we were very occupied otherwise!” The boys laughed and the girls looked at you with a gaze that told you they would ask you about every detail when they had you alone. When the first questions were answered and the surprise had sunken in, all of you ordered drinks and food after looking into the menu a moment.

 

Tom leaned over and kissed your cheek. “You look happy love!” You nodded and touched his leg under the table.

“I am. Thank you for calling them. They are my family and I would not be here without them!” Tom smiled and nudged your nose softly.

“I know darling, and I am eternally grateful for what they did to help you so that I got to meet you that wonderful spring day.” Sharing an intense gaze Tom kissed you and set back in his chair again. His arm around your back, his fingers playing with your hair.

 

Your friends, who had gotten to be Toms friends too, needed only little time to adjust to the fact that you were able to speak normally again. Their faces radiated with happiness and the conversations were fun and full of laughs. After dinner you still stayed together until the restaurant wanted to close up. A last drink was served from the owner himself who had already known you before your illness. And he too was happy that you had recovered fully. Outside you said your goodbyes and got hugged twice by everybody. Julia and Sam were a little tipsy but could still bicker with each other about who get´s to be dropped of first by the cab Tom had called for them.

 

Tom and you laughed and waved as everybody got inside the cab and drove off. Sighing you turned to Tom and hugged him tight. “This was so much fun! Thank you…again!”

Tom smiled and took your head in his hands as he bent down to kiss you.

“Anytime love. I do like to call them my friends too, and I had a lot of fun myself.” He stole another kiss and added “But now, let´s get home I want you to myself for the next hours to come!”

You grinned and started to walk with him. You were more than thankful to destiny or fate or whatever you´d believe in for your friends and that Tom and you had crossed paths which were now entwined into one.

 

Back at your place Tom and you got ready for the night but only after he undressed you with soft hands and lingering kisses that led to a very passionate tangle in the sheets.

In the dark you cuddled up to him and kissed his naked chest right above his heart. Tom rumbled softly and kissed your hair. He was so happy to have you in his life, to be able to call you his, that he knew that there would be no one else that would be able to hold his heart the way you did. He had found his perfect match and he hoped that you had found it in him too!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back from my holiday in London. AND I MET TOM I still can´t believe it!   
> Sorry it took a while to update but I do hope you still want to read this little story!

Late Monday morning you and Tom got ready to leave your home to go into the city again. He had to be at the Theatre in an hour for the next rehearsals and you wanted to go to Julia´s shop and help her out in case she needed you. Tom walked you to the shop and went inside for a quick hello to Julia. Your friend was busy working on a new art piece in the back of the workshop and you saw the chaos of paperwork on the front desk. Julia tended to forget about that when she was inspired, good that you were equipped to help her out with it. Wrapping you in a tight hug Tom kissed you softly.

“Come pick me up at the theatre later this eve?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yes, I´ll be there around 5ish I think, then I´m able to watch for a while before you are finished.”

Tom smiled and said his goodbyes, shouting out to Julia before he left you with another kiss.

 

You got to work directly and sorted out the papers into 3 piles. Bills Julia had to pay, bills Julia´s customers had to pay for her commissioned work and stuff that just needed to be put away. You prepped the whole lot so that Julia only had to sign everything and it was good to go. 2 hours later you were done and started on a commissioned flower piece, knowing Julia would be fine with you doing it, she still was totally engulfed in her art and had probably forgotten that the customer wanted to collect it this afternoon. Some time later Julia emerged with a big grin on her face.

“Oh…you are still here!” She said and came to take a look at the flower piece. “Shit, thank god I have you. I totally forgot that..” While she was talking the doorbell signalled someone coming in.

It was the customer who had ordered the flowers. Julia sold them and smiled all the way until he was out of the shop again.

 

Turning to you she made a face. “Thank god I have you!” walking over to hug you she did just that and kissed your cheek. Chuckling you pointed onto the counter and said “Sorted your paperwork out. Please take the time to work through each pile before you get all entangled with a new piece of art!”

Grinning Julia looked sheepish “Yeah, sorry BUT I am done with this piece…hence the smile on my face.” Julia slumped down on a chair and looked up. “But speaking of entangled…” she winked. “..Exactly HOW entangled did you and Tom get this weekend?” You could only smile which was telling enough. “Ahhh I see…” Julia grinned “…very entangled…hence the smile on your face!”

 

Talking to Julia without having to sign was fun and felt like old times. Julia interrogated you a bit about Tom and your relationship but hassled not too much. She merely was happy that the both of you had worked through the episode of pain and came out on the stronger end. You talked while she worked on the piles and you cleaned up where you had worked on the flowers.

“(Y/N), What did the doctor say that you regained your speech?” She asked and looked up.

“I haven´t seen him yet, but I will call him and make an appointment.” You vowed and Julia smiled.

“Look how you have grown up… 3 months back and I would have had to drag you to his office!”

You laughed and shrugged “Seems like you and Tom finally got some sense into my thick skull.”

 

“Haha! I wish!” Julia laughed and carried on working. It was almost 5 before she put the last papers away and grinned. “Done, you can go now!” Rolling your eyes, she interrupted you before you could say something. “Don´t even pretend you would have gone earlier. You wanted me to finish my paperwork so you stayed to make sure I did it!” Chuckling you went to her and hugged her.

“Look how you have grown up..” you teased like she had done before. “3 month back I would have needed to chain you to the chair…”  Julia hugged you back and smiled.

“Go, see that handsome boyfriend of yours…And ask him If he has any sexy single friends!”

 

Laughing loudly, you got your jacked and said your goodbyes to Julia and made your way to the Theatre. The doormen greeted you and let you in but there was silence where there should have been at least instructions from the director. You walked into the Theatre and found Tom, 3 other cast members and the director slumped in a chair rubbing their faces. “Hey. Creative break?” You asked and the director just sighed. Tom stood up to greet you with a kiss and elaborated.

“We had some auditions for the part of Hero but as you can see…it wasn´t quite what we wanted.”

The director laughed “And THAT´S an understatement.” He got up and clapped his hands.

“Alright…more auditions tomorrow. Let´s at least work on some of the scenes today. Please be ready in 5!”

 

Tom looked at you and tilted his head. “Sorry, this will take a while longer…” You smiled. “Don´t apologise, I like to see you on stage!” Tom kissed you softly but Andrea interrupted. “Wait a minute.. since when do you have your speech back?” She grinned and stole you for a hug out of Toms arms.

The actress who played Beatrice smiled “I am so happy for you!”   
“Thanks Andrea!” You smiled back and told her the short version of how you got better with the help of Tom and your friends…and a LOT of training. Tom watched the both of you and went backstage without another word. His stride fast and purposefully. 2 minutes later the director came on stage and looked at Andrea. “Andrea, you auditioned for Hero. Would you mind to take that part? I know you would do her justice.” She looked dumbfounded in the first second but smiled “Of course! But what’s with the part of Beatrice then?”

 

Tom came on stage and smiled down on you “Darling would you mind to help us out tonight and play Beatrice? I know you can recite her words in your sleep!” The director zeroed in on you too and said.

“Just for tonight. Maybe tomorrow too until I have seen an audition that doesn´t make Shakespeare’s ghost haunt me for the rest of my life.” Tom chuckled and looked at you, hoping he wasn´t pressuring you too much. You looked into the faces around you and saw nothing but hopeful smiles. Those people were nice, had been nice to you from the first time they met you. You could help them out for 2 days! “Ok…” you said and Tom grinned bright and jumped down the stage to kiss you.

 


	13. Chapter 13

The arms that engulfed you lifted you up and made you laugh as they twirled you in circles.

“Oh, I am glad!” Tom said and smiled as he slowly let you glide down his body until your feet touched the ground again. You laughed softly and kissed him before you said. “I thank you for the trust in me, but I might need the script if I am to help you out tonight.” Tom stole another kiss and said.

“I think that is no problem at all, but I really think you have her down and will know what to say without the script in your hands.”

 

Tom took your hand and let you backstage to see if he could find the script you wanted.

15 minutes later you had gotten the script AND a gown. Tom grinned as he saw you and bowed.

“Well, my lady. Don´t you look good in your attire.” Your nerves had been showing a little, but looking into Tom´s eyes, seeing the spark in them, the trust that you could do it helped. And it was just rehearsals after all. The director called to order and told which scenes he wanted to act out. Not surprisingly it were the scenes where Beatrice was in, because every other could be done without the help of you. “(Y/N)…” The director looked at you. “..Do what comes natural for you. I don´t expect you to know where you need to stand. Just try to interact with the others and we will see where this leads us.” You nodded, thankful that he too took the pressure out of this situation.

 

It took you some sentences to forget that some people where looking at you. But soon the other actors pulled you in and you didn´t need to look at the lines very often.

Tom took his cue and faced you.

 

BENEDICK: What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living?

You, or better Beatrice looked at him and the banter between those two characters began.

BEATRICE: Is it possible disdain should die while she hath  
such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick?  
Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come  
in her presence.

BENEDICK: Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I  
am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I  
would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard  
heart; for, truly, I love none.

BEATRICE : A dear happiness to women: they would else have  
been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God  
and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that: I  
had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man  
swear he loves me.

You and Tom danced around each other saying those lines and having so much fun using your natural chemistry that you didn´t recognize the staring director. The scene came to an end and Tom started to grin. “Once more from the beginning!” The director yelled and leaned back with a tiny smile spreading on his face. You walked a bit to the side and put the script down on a little table that held water bottles for everybody. On your cue you were back in the centre of the stage giving your lines...without the script in hand.

Somewhere around 9 the director called it a day and you hadn´t even noticed 4 hours passing that fast. Tom came over and engulfed you in his arms. “Are you alright darling?” He looked into your eyes with a smile. You nodded but leaned your head against his chest. “Time flew by, but now I am tired.. my voice is tired.” Tom stroked your back and kissed your head. “You strained your voice quite a bit tonight. Let´s get you home to rest up for tomorrow.” But neither of you made a move to let the other one go. Tom chuckled. “Another minute like that...then leave?”  “Yes please!” You grinned and closed your eyes. He stroked your back and felt utterly happy and relaxed that the both of you had made it that far together.

Tom and you made your way back home and picked up a pizza on the way instead of needing to cook something yourself. It was late enough anyway. The both of you enjoyed a quiet dinner with some music and Tom insisted to make you a tea to help your vocal cords relax and keep them smooth. Surprisingly it tasted very good. “Told you my tea is the best tea in Britain!” He chuckled as he saw your surprised face after sipping. Tom watched you for a moment and leaned over with hooded eyes. “How about a hot shower and then we cuddle up in bed?!” His voice dropped so low that your stomach made a backflip out of pleasure.

“Soun…” Tom stopped you with a kiss. “Relax your voice darling…no more talking tonight…” He grinned mischievous. “The only thing I will allow is moaning and maybe one gasped Tom!” Rolling your eyes, you laughed but bit your lip. “I´ll take that as a yes!” He grinned and tugged you up and walked you to the shower, undressing you on the way.  

The shower had been hot…and not only because of the water! Tom didn´t even bother to put on some clothes for bed, he just jumped under the blankets and grinned a wicked little smile as you grinned and dried of your hair. “Trouble Tom!” You whispered and got a chuckle out of him.

“Like I said: YOUR trouble Tom!” Climbing into bed after your hair was dry you kissed him and nodded. “Mine” you mouthed without straining your voice any further.

“Good girl!” He grinned and kissed you so lovingly that your heart wanted to burst.

“Now come here and plaster yourself to me!” he winked and held open his arms after getting comfortable. Doing just that you killed the light on your side of the bed and cuddled up to him.

 

In the dark of your bedroom you painted a heart onto his chest with your index finger. Tom directly kissed your forehead and said. “I love you too!” He had understood your silence from the moment you two had met. Your not being able to talk had never been an obstacle for him, now you had your speech back but Tom had made it very clear that he would have loved you just the same if it had not come back. Knowing that gave you a sense of calm, and with a smile you slowly drifted of to sleep.

 

Morning came all to soon…You slowly came awake, feeling heated hands roam your body, heated lips kissing your bare shoulder, down your spine while you lay on your belly and smiled sleepily. Those hands now turned you and Toms bed hair and sexy smirk came into view.

“Morning Darling!” He said and trapped you with his body, throwing the covers over your heads to hide from the world. You smiled up at him and stroked his naked chest. “Morning!”

What a glorious sight it was to wake up with him naked besides you…or on top of you.

One of his big hands stroked down your leg, bend it at the knee and lifted it.

“I smell trouble!” You said with a grin. Tom chuckled and nudged your nose with his.

“Do you now?” he took a deep breath and grinned wickedly. “I smell breakfast!”

 

And down he went to eat you up…

 

Tom couldn´t help the grin that spread on his face as the both of you walked into the Theatre that late morning. He loved that you were there with him throughout the whole day, that you would be on stage with him. He knew that you loved the part of Beatrice, but after yesterday’s rehearsals he was thrilled to have you act with him. You did so much right out of instinct that he was sure you would be able to fill the role with life and blow him away with your performance once you accepted that the stage was were you belonged in this particular play. You did not belong behind the stage or in the audience, no Beatrice role should be yours! And if the director couldn´t see it for himself then he had to help him see you with his eyes. Even if he might be a bit biased when it came to you.

 

“There you are!” The seamstress and woman in charge of the costumes greeted you and Tom.

“No time to waste, that gown you wore yesterday needs to be tighter, change into it and come back here for me to get the correct measures!” You looked stunned and wanted to ask why you needed a fitting gown for rehearsals but Tom just grinned and walked you to the dressing room with his hands on your shoulders. “You heard her…change!” He said laughing and kissed you.

Tom closed the door in front of your nose before you could say a word and turned on his heals to see the director.

 

“Ah, Thomas!” He greeted Tom. “Ian! No auditions?” To asked as he saw the empty theatre and the stage already set up for rehearsals. Ian grinned and shook his head. “Do you think we need further auditions? I think we found a great Hero…” Tom laughed silently. “We did…but what about Beatrice?” Ian rolled his eyes. “Don´t play the fool, you are not good at acting dumb!” Tom laughed “Ehehehe..” Ian smiled and continued. “I think you know full well that your woman is the right choice for that role. She has a natural way of understanding how to speak Shakespeare´s words and did so much right out of instinct. I would be dumb to look any further and not take her!”

 

Toms smile had gotten bigger with every word Ian said. His cheeks started to hurt.

“You are quite right Ian!” He said and turned to look at the stage for a moment.

“You and I are on the same page. Now we only have to make (Y/N) believe that she can do this!”

Ian laughed. “I was counting on you about that, but Andrea is also willing to help if we do need a little more persuasion…”

 

Tom looked thoughtful for a second. “She needs to want to do it… As much as I want her to be next to me on stage. I am not risking to lose her because we pressured her in to it.”

“Pressure me into what?” Toms head shot around to look at you…


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! Sorry it took a bit longer than usual to update. I am on a heavy work schedule for the next weeks to come! But I´ll do my best keeping up with writing!! Feel free to drop into the comments any time you like! I´d love to hear from all of you !

Ian cleared his throat and looked at Tom and started “As the director of this play…” Tom took your hand into his and guided you to where they had been standing. “Let me start anew.” Ian said and smiled. “You may not have the most experience acting on stage, but what you have shown us tells me that you would be the right choice to play Beatrice…” You looked dumbfounded at first, then your face fell. Tom clutched your hand tighter.

“You…You don´t have to do that!” You said to Ian and shook your head. “Don´t do it out of pity!”

 

Toms head snapped up. “Pity?” He huffed and shook his head vehemently. Ian laughed a little and said. “(Y/N), let me assure you that there is not one bit of pity involved in this, MY decision! I am not making light decisions or favouring anybody in particular. I WANT this play to succeed and I am not willing to risk it for favours!” Tom smiled softly. “Darling you were THAT good…believe me…even when you might think I am biased.” Ian pointed to the seats, a small table with a laptop and said. “Look at the footage we got on camera yesterday for my personal review. Tom said he did not want to pressure you, but…you need me to give an answer in an hour. I need to know if I got a full functioning cast or if I have to audition again. Heaven forbid…” He said with a slight smile and went backstage.

 

You slumped into the seat and groaned. “I cannot believe this!” Tom sat down next to you and his hand rested on your leg. “Are you mad at me ?” He asked timidly.

“Mad? Why should I be? I agreed to help out. I walked into this Theatre again on my own terms. I freakin LOVE Beatrice. I brought this to myself.” Tom grinned a bit. “Well…I think I played a small part in that…” Looking at Tom you started to laugh a little. “Dammit Hiddleston! I knew you were trouble!”

 

Tom shrugged chuckling and said as always when you made that statement. “Your Trouble!”

He leaned over to kiss you and breathed deep. “Ian was right. I said I didn´t want to pressure you. You need to make that decision on your own. I am with you either way.” Groaning you let your head fall back. “I don´t know if I can do this! That´s a whole different league then amateur theatre…”

Tom smiled and hit the PLAY button. “Let’s watch the footage…then YOU decide if you are up to it. But bear in mind. I will help you, rehearse with you and be with you every step of the way!” He lifted your entwined hands and kissed yours.

 

Half an hour later you looked puzzled at Tom. You had flinched as you saw yourself stepping onto stage the first time, but seeing yourself act with Tom was…thrilling. He brought out the best in you. He had the ability to enthral you so completely with his acting that you had become Beatrice on stage. You had seen HER…not yourself. Sure, there had been missteps and looking around for signs where you needed to be next but that were minor things that could be trained. Tom smiled at you and tilted his head.  His eyes were so hopeful.

“I am scared!” You said honest and closed your eyes. Tom touched your cheek. “Don´t be! We will take every step of the way…together! You´ve come so fare!” He pleaded you to look at him, you could feel it. Opening your eyes, he smiled. “One step at a time Darling THIS is the next step…and at the end of the day you look back and see that you have managed to climb a mountain.”

 

“Not pressuring me into it sounds different!” You huffed and Tom chuckled. But before he could say anything you started to talk. “Will you climb that mountain with me?” Toms gaze got soft. “Any mountain…I would crawl blindfolded and bound any mountain for you. WITH you!”

You took a deep breath and wanted to say something else as Andrea stomped onto stage.

“Don´t even think about saying no!” she looked at you with a pointed finger and grinned. “The men might not want to pressure you but I think you need a kick in the butt my dear!”

Tom snorted. “She sounds like Julia!”

 

You started to laugh and looked at Andrea and then at Tom. “I´ll be your Beatrice…”

Toms face lit up and he smiled so bright his cheeks must have hurt. “Darling you are my (Y/N), my Beatrice, my queen, my love…and you will be my wife!” Your eyes got big and Andrea stared equally at Tom. “ON STAGE.. HIS WIFE ON STAGE!” she yelled and jumped down to hit Toms arm. Ian came back into the Theatre and looked at you. “Times up! What did you decide!”

Andrea leaned in and whispered to Tom. “Hold the horses Hiddleston. You´re are galloping ahead!”

Tom watched you walking to Ian and grinned. “Nope, I meant what I said!”

Now Andrea hissed “You don´t want to pressure her into the role but are telling her that she will marry you?” Tom looked unfazed. “Yes, simple fact of life. You don´t think I will EVER let her get away again?!” Andrea stood there gaping at Tom. “I don´t know if that was sexy as hell or just plain stupid!” Tom just grinned and shrugged. “You are invited by the way!” He walked to hug you from behind and left a laughing Andrea standing in the aisles before the stage.

The next weeks were a whirlwind of rehearsals, dress fittings and stage training for you. You and Tom had managed to keep your engagement in the play a secret from your friends. They thought you helped out with finding requisites and other things regarding stage decorations. Because you mostly knew every line you needed to say you could concentrate on the acting part. Tom gave you very good hints and Andrea helped you as much as she could, but also told you that you were a natural and had to trust your instinct a lot more than overdoing it by trying to hard. You grew more confident each day and exhaustedly but with a smile hit the bed every night. Tom engulfing you in his arms and keeping his promise to be with you every step of the way.  His words on the day you accepted to play Beatrice where not forgotten but neither did you talk about it. You smiled as you thought about it whilst laying in his arms. It did not scare you at all, it was another mountain to climb for another day but it was a mountain you looked forward to as you drifted of to sleep.

 

Opening Night came and with it a mayhem of emotions. Tom had given Julia, Sam, Paul, Jack and Christine tickets to watch the play. He had also given you an alibi why you won´t join them beforehand, saying he needed you to help him dress backstage. 2 hours before the first curtain would rise and after the last fine tuning by Ian you were a bundle of nerves. Your hands were shaking and your whole body felt like needles were pinching it. And worst of all, your stammer had reappeared. Andrea had tried to calm you down but although she had become a friend to you, she was not able to get you calm enough to breath deep. “Sit down! DON`T MOVE!” She said and looked at you intensely. You just nodded; not enough breath left to do anything else anyway.

 

“Tom!” Andrea knocked on the dressing room of the men. Tom opened the door and looked at her. His face fell, he knew something was wrong. “You need to calm her down. She started to stammer again. Her nerves are bad!” Tom gulped but nodded. Shit, had it been to early? Was it to much strain they had, HE had put on you? Tom ruffled his hair and just walked into the room you were in, not bothering to knock. “Darling…” he kneeled before you. “I..I I I caaan caan´t breathe!” You looked horrified. “Shhhhshhshshh” he stroked up your legs. “Come with me love…” You shook your head.

“Ca can´t mo…move…” Toms gaze was so soft. “Remember.. one step after the other. You are almost on top of this mountain.” He stood and gathered you effortlessly up in his arms.

 

Tom walked with you onto the stage. He did not know if it would work, but he would damn well try. He sat you down in the middle of the stage. “Lie down love!” Tom looked to the few people still working inside the theatre. “Please leave.” They looked at him in wonder as he sat down next to you.

“We need to…” “I don´t care. LEAVE for 10 minutes! And kill the lights on your way out!” “But!!!...”

“I am sorry to be rude but..KILL THE DAMN LIGHTS!”

You took Toms hand and squeezed, looking at him apologetically.

Andrea and her husband came to help and urged the people out. Tom lay down next to you and Andrea killed one light after the other while Tom tugged you close. “Breathe darling…” He made you rest your head on his chest. “Together!” He said soothingly and it was pitch black in the theatre.

 

Two minutes later he had managed to even your breathing. “Good…” he stroked your back and kissed your head. “You don´t have to be afraid. You know everything there is to know for tonight.” It took another minute before your muscles lost their tension. “You are doing great!” Andrea switched the dim performing lights on, illuminating the aisles. Tom still held you close. “I want you to think of our first time like this…laying in your livingroom.” You smiled at the memory and uncurled your hand that had been gripping his shirt. Tom continued “Then think about lying here with me…I promise you we will do it after our performance. I will kiss you when the curtain closes and we will lay down together!” Andrea switched on another light, illuminating the ceiling.

 

The lights coming back to live resembled your way out of the panic, out of the angst you had felt. Tom, with the help of Andrea and her husband managed to pull you slowly back into the light. Out of the foggy, pitch black corner in your mind that had had you in its grip. “Together…” you said and took another breath. “Always!” Tom pledged and let go of you as he felt you wanted to sit up.

“I am so sorry…” you said with tears in your eyes. Tom kneeled before you, taking your face into his hands. “Don´t be… You have every right to be frightened - I am too- , but don´t let it control you. Try to take advantage of it. Route it into energy you can feed of.”

 

Tom smiled softly and leaned in for a slow kiss. “I am with you every step of the way!” You hugged him tight and breathed in his unique scent. “Let´s do it!” You said without a stammer. Tom was your anchor, your safe harbour in a troubled sea. You looked into his blue eyes and smiled. Tom got up and held out his hands for you. You took them and he tugged you into another embrace before he walked backstage with you saying. “I probably owe those people a beer or two later.” Andrea and her husband Marc followed you into the corridor. “We´ll join in.” Tom grinned thankful and let Marc give him a high five.

 

“DRESS UP FOLKS!” Ian yelled as the four of you made it back to the dressing rooms. “Will you be ok?” Tom asked and held your face in his hands again. You nodded and kissed him. “Yes, go dress and I will see you on stage!” Tom smiled happy and grinned “I can´t wait to see the look on their faces.” Snickering you stole another kiss before Andrea pulled you in. “Dress now. Kiss later!” she closed the door in front of a chortling Toms nose.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slowly we are nearing the end of this story! I do hope you like this chapter and enjoy the view with her from the top of her personal climbed mountain! COMMENTS ARE SOULFOOD! ;) 
> 
> Yours, Sabine

Behind the closed curtain you could hear the excited murmurs, the soft talks and laughs of the audience. Completely dressed and with the needed make up, you felt almost like a different person. Good, cause you needed to be Beatrice for the next time to come. Soft arms came around you from behind. “My fair Beatrice..” Tom murmured and kissed your half-exposed shoulder. You smiled and leaned into his embrace. “Good morrow soon to be husband!” Tom chuckled and squeezed you tighter. “Be careful what you wish for… it might come true sooner than later!”

 

The whole cast joined the both of you and got ready. Everybody was nervous, but everybody was also thrilled to bring a play to life that they had rehearsed for with all their sweat and tears and blood. Ian joined last and looked at everybody with a smile. After some murmured words of encouragement and well wishes he said “On your marks please.” That meant it was time for you, Andrea and the men who played Leonato and the Messenger to walk onto stage when the cue came. Tom hugged you one last time and went to the side of the stage so that he would be able to see you and part of the audience.

 

The lights got dim in the theatre, the murmurs calmed down. Some last hushed rustles could be heard before the curtain lifted and it was time to act. Andrea squeezed your hand and gave you a slight tug as Ian motioned to the four of you to walk out. Leonato and the Messenger already talking while walking. Hero and you followed. A gasp out of the audience before a shrill “THAT`S MY GIRL!” sounded in Julia’s voice.  The audience chuckled and you had to hide a grin. Tom threw his head back and laughed as silent as possible but with all the joy he felt. He saw the gaping gazes of your friends and beamed like an idiot as you started to talk and act without a hitch.

 

The first words you had to say had almost stuck in your throat but after the first sentence was out a total calm came over you and you forgot that there were a lot of people watching you. Before you knew it, Tom joined you on stage as Benedick and the both of you bickered and teased in the language of old.

BENEDICK: Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.

BEATRICE: A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.

BENEDICK: I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and  
so good a continuer. But keep your way, i' God's  
name; I have done.

BEATRICE: You always end with a jade's trick: I know you of old.

God, it was fun to bicker with Tom. The both of you played each other and gave each other stares and glances that could cut glass at first. The chemistry you had was fun to watch as it changed throughout the play. The audience was silent and enthralled by every actor’s performance. They laughed and gasped and were engaged from the first words that had been uttered on stage. Julia, Sam, Jack, Christine and Paul could not take their eyes off of you when you were on stage again and the proud smiles got bigger and bigger. The final minutes of the play came faster than you thought and it was Toms turn to give the last words to the audience as his Benedick had just married your Beatrice.

 

BENEDICK: Come, come, we are friends: let's have a dance ere  
we are married, that we may lighten our own hearts  
and our wives' heels.

 

LEONATO: We'll have dancing afterward.

 

BENEDICK: First, of my word; therefore play, music. Prince,  
thou art sad; get thee a wife, get thee a wife:  
there is no staff more reverend than one tipped with horn.

 

Messenger: My lord, your brother John is ta'en in flight,  
And brought with armed men back to Messina.

 

BENEDICK: Think not on him till to-morrow:  
I'll devise thee brave punishments for him.  
Strike up, pipers.

 

And the curtain closed while you and Tom danced together…

 

The audience erupted into applause but Tom did not let go of you. No, he tightened his grip and crashed his lips to yours. You kissed him back with all you had in you and smiled near his lips as he lifted you up and turned slowly in a circle while kissing you with a laugh flaring up from his lips. The curtain came back up again as Tom sat you down softly and smiled a beaming smile at you. The whole cast joined and you took your bows before a standing and clapping audience. God, the adrenalin rushing through your veins was tremendous. You looked to your friends who frantically hooted and clapped and raised their fists into the air. Julia with tears streaming down her face.

The curtain closed again and stayed that way. Tom turned to you again and smiled. You wanted to walk of stage with him but he stopped you and winked as he got down on the wooden floor of the stage.

 

He padded the space next to him and lay down with a smile. “I made a promise I intend to keep!” A bubbly laugh escaped your lips and you looked around to see everybody on stage smiling. One after the other lay down and held someone’s hand. Tears filled your eyes as you went down on your knees and Tom tugged you down into his waiting arms. The lights on stage were killed by Ian with a big smile on his face. A few seconds you heard only breathing but then Tom yelled “WE DID IT!” and everybody started to laugh and hoot in great joy.

 

It would become a ritual…after every performance the cast would lay down together for a minute. Silently appreciating each other’s company and their day´s work.

 

The lights lit up again and Tom sat up with a sparkle in his bright blue eyes, clearly still on a high from his performance and the adrenalin rushing through his veins. He jumped to his feet and held out his hand for you. You took it without hesitation and he almost instantly tugged you along into the corridor backstage to the far end into a small room full of fabric and a sewing machine on a table. Before you could muster a question, he blocked the door and pressed you against it. His lips on yours, ravishing them with an intense hunger. A gasp escaped you as his nimble hands made quick work of your dress and his pants. He gathered the skirt up and lifted your leg to his side, keeping it there while his already heavy erection pressed against your core. His free hand ripped your pantie in two and his wet tip found your heated core. There were no words. Only intense stares and shallow breaths. Tom bend his knees slightly and as he straightened them again, he thrust inside you with a deep moan leaving his parted lips.

 

Your own moan was silenced with a hungry and passionate kiss. His tongue gathering up every sound you made and forming it into wet and open-mouthed kisses. Toms hips were erratic. You held on to his neck and shoulders while his thrusts came harder and faster. Your back and your head probably made dull thuds against the door but the both of you were to occupied to care. It did not take long for you to reach the mountaintop of lust and joyfully jump into the abyss of pleasure that awaited. Tom closely following you, not able to stop himself as he felt your walls clench in an intoxicating orgasm. He groaned and rested his head in the crock of your neck, breathing heavily.

 

Slowly his hands let go of you and he started to laugh throatily. “Well, I guess our marriage has been consummated my lovely Beatrice!” You could not hold back your own laughter and kissed that silly man that grinned so wickedly and very adorably with his nose nudging yours.

 

Tom helped you to set your dress straight and gathered up the ripped pantie. He stuffed it into his pants and grinned as he opened the door and walked you back to your dressing room. “A quick shower, a change of clothes and then we will celebrate with our friends!” He said and kissed you thoroughly. Andrea lifted an inquiring eyebrow as you closed the door behind you. You just smiled and she started to giggle as you were headed into the shower.

 

An hour later Tom and you walked hand in hand into the venue that was booked for the party. Tom in a dark suit and you in a very sexy yet elegant dress Tom had helped you choose for tonight. “Here come our newlyweds!” The cast hooted and threw confetti at the both of you. Laughing wholeheartedly Tom kissed you but soon had to let go of you as Julia barged in and stole you literally from his lips. With every word she said she smacked your arm. “How could you not TELL ME!” Then she hugged you so fiercely that all the oxygen left your lung. “You were brilliant!!!” She cried and held onto you. Only to lean back and smack you again! The rest of your friends followed and hugged you with such fierce proudness that you too had tears in your eyes. As did Tom.

 

This night was about celebration, climbed mountains and friendships that were stronger than any fear or panic. It was about love and happiness, about overcoming obstacles that at first seemed to much for one person alone. But one thing you never were...alone. There were always hands reaching out to you and you could not be more grateful for all of them.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thats a wrap… This will be the last chapter of Dreadful Silence. I could do an Epilogue if wanted but that would be it :) This idea had been in my head for a while and I am happy that I could get it out into the open. 
> 
> I am SO very thankful to all of you who have liked and commented on this story! I love you to bits!!! Please let me know if you liked the last chapter! 
> 
> THANK YOU FOR CLIMBING THIS MOUNTAIN WITH ME!!!

After the party Tom and you had fallen into bed happy but exhausted. There was no doubt about the next weeks becoming straining and intense but you loved the rush after every performance.

3 Weeks in and it had not changed a bit. The complete Cast lay yet another time on the floor of the stage together as Tom turned his head.

He smiled a beaming smile but his eyes held a seriousness that kept you from asking why he looked the way he looked. Knowing him you knew he was about to talk soon anyway.

“I was wondering…” He started and the beaming smile became a little grin.

“…since we practically live together for a while now anyway…why not make it permanent?!”

Tom kissed your entwined hands and added. “No need to pay double for rent if we only use one flat anyway…” You started to grin yourself.

“That is very reasonable, you do make a good argument Thomas.”

Tom laughed softly and nodded. “I do, don´t I?!”

 

Slowly you sat up and turned your head to still be able to look at him.

“I mean, why say things like I love you, I want to be with you all the time. Let´s share a life…When you can also reason with rent prices…” Tom suppressed a snort and hefted himself up to stand.

“I am glad we are on the same page, darling!” Then he started walking to get off stage and shower. Shortly before he was out of sight he stopped and threw you a wicked look.

“Ahh.. by the way. I LOVE YOU and I already terminated my rent contract. So, you are basically stuck with me! Please…let´s share a life together!” He winked at you and blew you a kiss before he left the stage. You sat there flabbergasted and started to laugh.

“TROUBLE TOM!” You yelled and went after him to not only start sharing a life but also THE DAMN SHOWER together.  

 

In the next week you found out that Tom had planned the move and already corrupted your friends into helping. They had been on the inside of Toms plans all along and gladly kept their mouths shut to see your stunned face when they let the bomb drop while clearing out Toms flat. With your combined strength, good planning and also with a lot of fun you made the move in a day and had dinner together afterwards. Sam had managed to get a pizza delivery from your favourite restaurant which all of you were now demolishing in your livingroom. Julia collapsed on the floor next to you and asked. “When will be your last performance on stage? I absolutely wanna be there for it.”

You were ready to give an answer but Tom was quicker. “I already have the tickets for all of you. My treat for all your help!” He grinned as Julia kissed his cheek with a laugh and said. “Oh, I need a new dress for that occasion. (Y/N) you, Christine and myself will go shopping!”  Well, you could not say no to that as you too needed a dress for the party afterwards. Tom grinned and Sam winked as he, Paul, Jack and Tom shared a quick glance.

 

That night, Tom and you lay in bed together after a hot shower. Your head rested comfortably in the crock of his shoulder and he slowly stroked your back with his fingertips. “Feel any different, now that we live together?” You asked him with a smile and lifted your head. Tom chuckled and shook his head. “No, my flat did not feel like my home anymore after we spend the first weekend together at yours. I knew that THIS was where I wanted to be. That you are my home…” 

“Charmer!” You said with a smile but the kiss you gave him told him how much his words meant to you.  “Although I could have done without all your secret plans and wicked games!” You added after the kiss. “Tom laughed out loud this time and grinned. “See, I told you in the beginning that I would gladly listen to your exasperated TOM when I did something stupid!”

“Oh, this was not stupid just mischievous, and I haven´t said an exasperated TOM for now. But I am certain it will come one day!”  Tom tumbled you over and hovered above you. “I can not wait!”

His lips crashed onto yours and he kissed you with a sense of longing and rightness inside his chest that made his heart soar in contentment.

When you went out shopping with the girls the next free day after another 2 weeks of performances Tom promised you a quiet night with a dinner would be waiting for you on your return. The day out was fun although you were tired. Julia, Christine and yourself managed to find some extraordinary dresses that looked classy and stylish but sexy as well. They occupied you for the whole afternoon and only dropped you of at home after you threatened to fall asleep on the spot if they´d drag you into yet another store for matching shoes. Keying open your door and a exquisite aroma engulfing your sense of smell made you smile. You dropped your bags and got rid of your shoes before walking into the kitchen. Tom stood before the oven, low sitting jeans, barefoot and... bare-chested. Your breath actually hitched a little and you grinned as you said. “You know that you are deadly to womenkind like that ?!” Tom turned, stunned. He hadn´t heard you coming in. He started to chuckle and joked. “Should I wear an apron?” Slowly walking over to you his eyes got hooded.

 

“Oh please, god, no! That would be even deadlier!”

Tom chuckled low and grabbed your waist in a soft tug. “Hi!” he rasped and started to kiss you eagerly. “Hi yourself. Trouble Tom!” you answered as he let you take in a breath. 

Tom chuckled and kissed your neck with little wet kisses while your hands stroked down his naked back into the low sitting jeans and over his firm behind. Tom purred against your skin and walked you against the kitchen table. He lifted you up with his strong arms and pushed the skirt up with a low laugh. “I like that…you wearing skirts…” His mouth found yours in a deep and intoxicating kiss while he opened up his jeans and pushed down his boxers. Your little pantie was gone the next second and Tom urged you to the edge of the table while stepping between your parted legs.

“A little something to whet one´s appetite…” His voice was a deep rumble and his words made you ready for his possession almost as much as his kisses had done. One of his hands held you steady as his hips undulated…slowly taking tenure of your hot core.

What a way to get your appetite up and running…

 

The last week of performance in the Theatre came faster than you thought and you tried to enjoy each and every performance even more than you had done already. Walking onto stage for the last time that evening was thrilling but also sad. You saw your friends sitting in the first row. Dressed up to the nines and smiling your way.  Trying to take all in and store it safely into your heart to take it home as a fond memory you looked into the audience. This was your climbed mountain and that was you on top of it enjoying the view!

 

When Tom delivered the last lines before the lights would go out, he saw you smiling at him with tears in your eyes. “Strike up Pipers!” Came out a bit hoarse as he grabbed your face in his hands and instead of starting to dance with you as he had done numerous times before he just kissed you deeply. The audience erupted into applause and your friends stood there clapping and hooting loudly. Tom just held you tight after the kiss and when all got dark around the both of you. He did not let go. Even when the lights lit up again and you all had to take the final curtain call, he just held you in his arms and looked into your eyes for a moment. There was something in his gaze that you could not quite place but there was no time to take another look because Andrea and her husband laughingly pried the both of you off of each other and made you bow with them.

 

Afterwards you all looked at each other and there was no dry eye left on stage as you got down on the floor for one last time. Tom hugging you very close and gulping to clear his throat before yelling like after the first performance. “WE DID IT!” The mixture of adrenalin rush, pure joy, sadness that it was over, exhaustion and relief that you had made it till the end was almost too much to handle.

 

Backstage you were joined by your friends and after Andrea left the shower you jumped under the hot water while Julia and Christine chatted with her. They helped you get ready and into the dress you had bought, it felt so good to laugh and joke with them after the emotional rollercoaster on stage earlier. Standing in the dressing room and looking at each other after you were ready the grins got bigger and bigger. “The Party awaits Ladies!” Andrea hooted and opened the door for you. You stepped out and looked down the corridor. The dressing room of the lads was already dark and empty. They probably were waiting for you outside to get into the cars that would drive you to the party venue. Closing the door behind her Julia cleared her throat as you started walking to the exit. “Wrong way (Y/N)” she said with a smile. You turned and looked confused. Julia rolled her eyes and tilted her head. “Jesus, you really did forget what you promised me?” It took you a second but then it dawned on you. “OH! SORRY! Of course. Follow me!” You started walking back to the stage entrance to fulfil your promise to show Julia the stage and let her take a look facing the view you had had the last months. Opening the door to the pitch-black stage you heard Andrea say.

“I´ll get the lights for you!”

“God its dark, you go first! I have no clue where the stage ends!”

Chuckling at Julia’s words you stepped onto the stage and said “There are a few meters before you´d fall down, don´t be such a scaredy-cat!” Hearing the door fall close you felt around for Julia’s hand, only to come up empty. “Andrea? The lights?” You said loud enough for her to hear.

 

A single spotlight lit up and you blinked for a second before pinning your gaze on a beautiful flower arrangement. Much the same to the one Tom bought the first time you met him. Another light came up and the vision before you hit you like a freight train. You gulped and a nervous laugh escaped you. Some meters away, next to the flowers stood Tom in a well-cut black tuxedo. A smile on his face and his hands behind his back. “Hello Darling!” He said and wet his lips before holding out one hand for you. “Please, join me?!” Your heart hammered inside your chest, ready to jump out any second as you took the few steps that separated you from this divine looking human being. You took his hand and Tom squeezed slightly. “You do look heavenly stunning…” he said and kissed your hand.

 

Tom took a deep breath and prepared himself to give probably the most important monologue in his life. “When we met, I knew I had found a spirit that one could only ever find once in a lifetime. Being with you the first weeks, getting to know you, was like exploring a beautifully written book. I had to read between the lines to fully understand the beauty of your mind and soul but every new line I revealed drew me deeper and deeper… without me ever wanting to get out again. I understood your silence as much as I understood your words and I promised myself to never let you get away again. I climbed a mountain to reach you…” You closed your eyes as he referred to the time were he had run up Primrose Hill after searching you for hours. “…and now we have climbed a mountain together. THIS stage will always resemble our strength, our love, our passion, our will to fight for each other to me.” Tom took a deep breath and smiled. “I LOVE you! With all my heart with all I was, am and will be…” He went down on one knee and held out a little black box which he opened up with trembling hands. “Would you do me the honour and marry me (Y/N) ?” The look he bestowed on you from down there was pure hope, pure love and such a sight to behold that this image would be branded into your mind forever.

 

You did not know if your voice would betray you because your eyes filled with tears and your heart beat as fast like a Colibri’s wings.  “Yes!” You got out before a tear fell out and Tom started to smile so bright that it would be enough to lit up the whole Theatre. He stood and grabbed you. The kiss he planted on you was wet and hard and sweet and loving altogether. With trembling hands, he got the ring out of the box and slid it onto your finger before enclosing you in a hug that melted the both of you together. “SHE SAID YES!” He yelled and the lights in the Theatre came to live, illuminating your friends and the whole crew in the seats. Or better ON the seats as they clapped and yelled well wishes from down below. 

 

Tom took your face in his hands and looked into your eyes. “Was that worth an exasperated Tom?” You laughed but shook your head. “That was worth an: I LOVE YOU MY TROUBLE TOM!”

Tom grinned and kissed you silly before your friends took up the stage and engulfed you in a hug that felt like a thousand unsaid words of love and friendship.


End file.
